Birth Story Unfiltered: Suzannah’s Journey to Motherhood with Calm Labor Confident Birth Class | 93

I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom of the show 


SUZANNAH: notes. 


Thank you so much for coming today. 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, thanks for having me. 


TRISH: I want you to tell everybody just a little bit about you, and what number baby this was, all the fun stuff. 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, so this was my first baby, yeah, so he was born at like 39 weeks and six days. I've been married for about a year and a half now to my husband, and I'm a little bit of a crazy person. 


And he was like, I want to have kids right away. And then about a month after we got married, he was like, Oh, I'm good. We can wait a while to have kids. And I'm like, no, I want kids now. That sounds nice. So yeah, so we got pregnant and then I just had our baby boy in August. So he's three months old now. 


TRISH: So I remember when you joined us. because you told me right away that you were young. I was young when I had my first tooth, so I get it. So how did you find us? Was it Fearless Birth Experience? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah. Yeah. So in March, it was the March Fearless Birth Experience. I honestly have no clue how I found your account, but I found your account on Instagram and I saw that there was this like birth experience and I'm the youngest of nine kids. 


TRISH: So I remember when you first started coming to the Hangouts and you were torn between finishing your degree or doing something with school, right? Yeah. 


SUZANNAH: So when we were, my husband and I were first married, we were up in Rexburg and we were both going to school. So I took some on campus classes there and then we moved a couple hours away. 


And I was. Supposed to be taking these classes up until I was 37 weeks pregnant, and that just stressed me out of my mind and I talked with you, Trish, and we decided that was not a good plan to be stressed right up until having a baby. So I decided to just take a couple of courses instead of the full load. 


And so I did that and I'm. still working on that right now and I'm just going to finish my associate's degree and then maybe a few years down the road when all of my kids are a little bit older then I'll finish on to my bachelor's. 


TRISH: Yeah and you know I think it's so like you just do what you have to do and what fits with you and your family. 


SUZANNAH: totally agree. 


TRISH: Yeah. So I think you made the right decision. Okay. So you found us through Fearless Birth Experience, and for those of you guys who are new to listening, we do something called Fearless Birth Experience, which is five days of free little mini birth class teasers and we have a group and a community and we do hangouts and it's a lot of fun because inside of our birth classes, we have weekly pregnancy hangouts on Zoom with me and my doulas. 


So you joined us and you came to the hangouts. You were pretty regular at the hangouts. I know that for sure. And that makes such a difference. Doesn't it with your fear? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah any questions that you have you always get the support from 37 Weeks On. It's nice to have that one on one you and your doulas check in every day, and it's great to have that. 


And I just, I trusted you guys just like that. And it was a good decision. 


TRISH: I'm glad that you did. So tell us about your pregnancy. How was your 


SUZANNAH: pregnancy? It was good. It was really good. I feel like everything went pretty normal. I had a, honestly, a pretty easy pregnancy. I didn't get super sick. 


In the first trimester a little bit nauseous, but all pretty normal. Second trimester was amazing. Third trimester was honestly dreadful. Starting at 34 weeks I feel like time dragged on. That's like my main regret is that I, you guys always told us that first time moms just expect to go to 42 weeks if you want to go into spontaneous labor. 


I'm sure I'll have the baby 39 weeks. Max. No, 37 weeks comes rolling around then 38 weeks. And then 39 weeks hits and I'm like, Oh my gosh, like this is terrible. Like I really was convinced I was going to have a baby by this point. And so that was like the hardest part for me is those like last few weeks. 


Seemed like months, like that was like the longest part ever , and so I ended up being induced because I just couldn't handle it anymore. , 


Like my mom, my aunt, my grandma all went early. I just want to invite you all to remember that you and this baby equal this pregnancy. And there's never been one of these before. It's unique. It's this one. And you really just don't know. Even if it were your third pregnancy and the first two were early, there's still a chance this pregnancy won't be early. 


And frustrations and pains and all the things coming out of your body, whatever it is, we help you navigate. So I remember when you were like playing back and forth and really stressed that you were still pregnant. 


SUZANNAH: Oh yeah, I was very stressed. I was like, I don't understand. I thought that this baby was supposed to come out, this baby's never going to come out. Like he just wants to stay in there. And it was very like silly and immature of me to think that even at 39 weeks. That if I hadn't had the baby, then he's never gonna come because that is very false. I'm sure he would have come eventually. 


TRISH: Yeah, I've really, I don't think I've ever personally met someone who stayed pregnant forever. 


TRISH: So now, for those of you guys listening. Yeah. I have spent a lot of time with Susanna and so have my doula since the baby came out because we have weekly postpartum hangouts. So I already know that she has had to navigate some guilt and stress for choosing to be induced. 


So we're joking lightheartedly, but you've had to navigate some like heavy emotions regarding that. 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, for sure. No, it's definitely Was something that I had to learn to overcome and realize that I'm not going to be perfect and that there's always going to be a next time because I always said from 20 weeks on, I was like, okay I'm going into spontaneous labor. 


And I just physically didn't feel like I could go another day. So I did end up getting induced and something that's really helped me a lot. That was. Per your suggestion was to write down all of my feelings. I just wrote down everything that I was frustrated over, everything that I would do different if I could go back in that has helped a lot. 


And now I feel like I've. Come to terms with it and realize that like I would do things differently next baby, and that's okay You know is my first time going around so 


TRISH: And you know what I would encourage you to do This is just I know we talked about that on the hangout about you journaling all that and just Getting it out, stop letting it play around in your head, but you know what I'm thinking too is next baby, I'm going to be like, okay girl when you hit 39 weeks and you're losing it again, I'm going to say, go grab that, that narrative, get that out, read it. 


SUZANNAH: Yeah. The anticipation of having a baby is really hard. That's why I told my husband, I was like, you know what, I'm just going to tell my OB. Like when I very, like, when I get pregnant next and I go in for my next appointment, I'm going to be like, Kay, whatever my due date is fast forward that two weeks. 


And then tell me that's my due date. Cause maybe that would make me feel better. I don't think they can actually do that. But seriously, the anticipation of like, When they're gonna come if you had a set date like they're for sure gonna come on this day It would make things so much easier 


However, I know you have it in you to push past that next 


SUZANNAH: time. Oh, yeah No for sure and being induced definitely has its Pros and cons, for sure. 


TRISH: Oh, I 100 percent agree with you. And with my baby number 3, we were moving from Florida to Tennessee. And I had a very narrow window to have him in Florida opposed to Tennessee. 


And I was like, I do not want to have him in a state. I don't know anyone. And so I was induced. with him. And there are legit reasons for you guys to choose induction, whether it's out of convenience or frustration or whatever, as long as your body's ready for induction. Now, if you're listening and one of the things I teach my students is your Bishop score. 


You don't want to end up in the O. R. because you're just frustrated with being pregnant. But so let's go ahead and share with everyone your story. So you were scheduled to be induced and what type of induction? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, so it was just like a light induction. So I actually went in at 39 in five days. 


So my OB had done a membrane sweep at 39 weeks and then. I think that also added to the frustration because he was like, Okay, like your body's pretty ready. Like I was three centimeters dilated, which we learned doesn't really mean anything, but I was 80 percent of face. So I was like, Okay, that means something like that means my body is slightly ready. 


And so he Did the membrane sweep. He told me he thought he would see me in later that day, which of course he didn't. And then the next day we scheduled an induction for that morning. So I went in on that Tuesday morning and they started me at about 9 a. m. They just broke my waters, didn't give me any Pitocin at first. 


And that started contractions about 7 to 8 minutes apart. So it started things going. It was pretty slow moving. It honestly felt a lot faster. And what, 


TRISH: what were you dilated to? 


SUZANNAH: So I was at a 3. I was still at a 3. Okay. At 3 centimeters. 


However, sometimes it's an appropriate it, and it's not a medication, so you're not having a medical induction, but nine times out of ten, if you start with your water being broken, you're going to end up on Pitocin. So I prefer the opposite, is to let the Pitocin get things flowing, get your body going, and then do your water. 


I'm just throwing that out there for listeners who are not a student, so you know that. Oh, yeah. No, for sure. But you started out with good numbers, so that's good. 


SUZANNAH: yeAh. So I started out with pretty good numbers and That is one thing that I guess I didn't fully realize before was that breaking your water, I think does make, they say that it makes contractions like harder. 


And I think it would have been, for me, it would have been like, halfsies. I think it would have been fine either way. It would have been hard either way. But yeah, if your numbers aren't good and they break your water, then that starts that clock. And if you're not going, then it's not going to end up good in the long 


TRISH: run. 


But I will say, too, that as far as them breaking your water, if you guys are listening, once you are in a good active labor pattern, and the only way we really know you're in labor is not contractions. It's that you're making cervical change, whether it's effacement, dilation, station, all the different things. 


SUZANNAH: So I started moving around the room at first. They had a birth ball, like a yoga ball that they brought in. 


And so I started on that, but I realized very soon that I had really bad back labor. And so that kind of threw things for a loop. And so I, one of my sister in law, she's had all natural births and she's like, Hey, I've had really bad back labor. I suspected that I would have had back labor. And Counter pressure helps a lot. 


Were you, 


TRISH: you were using your labor bat signal, right? Were you chatting with the doulas or were they giving you any position options or were you not using your labor bat signal? Yeah, 


SUZANNAH: I wasn't using it super well. I used it like that morning when I first went in, but then as soon as the contractions start, honestly, even though they were like seven to eight minutes apart. 


In my head, they felt like three minutes. Like they felt like they were fast. Like I kept asking my husband, I was like, Hey they've got to be like three minutes. How far apart was that one? No, that one was eight minutes apart. I'm like, Oh my heavens. That started to like throw me for a loop too is because it felt so much faster in between. 


And so I don't think about the labor bat signal. In your. 


And the reason I'm saying that is because your baby was in a wonky position. That's why you were having. And we would know that, and we know exactly what positions to tell you. Although counterpressure is literally my favorite thing in labor myself. But positioning is so stinking important. So if you find yourself having intense back labor. 


It is usually a sign that baby has gotten into a wonky position, whether they're OP or whether their head is just even slightly turned a little bit. And that's where I love the Labor Bat Signal and I wish we had known because we can tell you the positions that will help open up the pelvis and get the baby into the right position. 


SUZANNAH: Oh yeah. I'm sure they were. I think he was a little bit glad once I ended up getting the epidural because he was like, My, he was like, my arms can rest now. 


Yeah. Looking back, I definitely realized that he wasn't a bad position and I actually had printed out like different positions based on if he wasn't a bad position. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I printed off the position guide and I should have had looking back, I should have had him like understand that more and him be like, Okay, you need to get into this different position, because when I was in that moment, I completely forgot about it, like it just all went out 


And that is so okay, so I don't want you to hold that to yourself at all, we're not carrying that outside of this podcast, because that's one thing why we say that your partner needs to be as educated as you, and I'm going to make a note. that we make sure we tell these new students and the girls in the Labor Bat Signal to go over that position guide with their partner because the way we have it laid out is if you're feeling this, if your nurse It says that if this is happening, do this. 


And then of course you can also say, oh my gosh, in the labor bat signal, this is happening. And if we're awake, if it's not two in the morning, we'll give you some suggestions as well. But that, when you step into that labor room, your only job is to labor. It's not to think about A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Yeah. It's only to have a baby. 


Like I. Completely stopped feeling contractions. Most wild thing ever is to feel them so hard and then have them be completely gone. So weird, super crazy. So they gave place the epidural and then that I had them placed me from side to side. I knew that was important. So they put sides, put me from side to side and put a peanut ball in between my legs. 


TRISH: That's still a really good short first time labor. It really is, especially being induced. Your body was really ready. I would say that you probably would have gone into labor soon after had, yeah, because that's a short induction for baby number one. 


Yeah. Your body was like, yep, I'm doing it. Let's do it. Okay. So you have your epidural. Did you rest? Did you hang out? Okay. Because a lot of times. I 


SUZANNAH: slept. Honestly. I 


TRISH: slept a lot of times. Good. Because a lot of times, my patients, when they get their epidural, so for those of you guys listening, once you get your epidural, the nurse will usually. 


So it's a really good time to rest, but I have a lot of patients who don't listen to me, and then they let Grandma and Aunt Sally and Uncle Bob and everybody come and sit in the room, and it's chaos. And she's super excited, because like you said, she was miserable, and now she's feeling nothing. Yeah, so for sure you would recommend resting. 


SUZANNAH: Oh, totally. Yeah, I'm so glad I didn't have anyone else come in the room. That would have stressed me out of my mind, like looking back at it. It was a very good thing that I rested because I needed that rest because Like I ended up pushing for a decent amount of time, depending on your definition of how long pushing is. 


TRISH: Yeah. Okay. So when it was time, like did you start feeling a lot more pressure? What was your signal? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, so I started feeling a ton of pressure. That was the main thing that they had me look out for. And I started feeling pressure around four and they checked me and I was like at a seven and then I just kept progressing from there. 


And once I got to a nine they told me I was at a nine and that kind of like clicked in my head. Like this whole time I was like, I was just thinking like numbers. I was just like, Hey, yeah, five, six, seven, eight, nine. But when they said nine, I was like, Oh my goodness, I am seriously open that much. I can't believe that. 


And I started to like. Freak out, and I got those like shivers, I don't remember what they're called. The 


TRISH: epidural shakes, yeah. And it can be from trans it's also a sign of transition, but some epidural moms get it too. Yeah, 


I ended up puking everywhere. I, yeah, it was not the most fun. The shakes. Like threw me for a loop. My husband was like, Yeah, they're very Yeah, it was uncontrollable And so I also had like music going on in the background and that helped to calm me down a lot actually the music helped and then Yeah, puking helped. 


Honestly, I got really bad heartburn And I was like, I really need some Tums now. This is bad heartburn. You wouldn't think that Tums would make you puke everywhere. No, I puked everywhere. They didn't give them to me fast enough. But it helped a lot. It made me feel better, 


TRISH: and when my patients are that close to pushing and they puke, I secretly am like having a dance party inside. 


SUZANNAH: Yeah. Yeah, no, that's exactly. I didn't even think about that. Those same muscles are what you used to push. But yeah, I definitely everything came out. It was so bad. 


TRISH: I threw up a lot with my first and this is so terrible. It got all in my hair. And I was unmedicated and 17 years old and would not listen to anyone. 


And I wanted that puke out of my hair. And so I got out of bed and went to the sink and made them wash my hair in the sink. 


I don't even care in this moment. I just want that baby out. 


TRISH: Yeah, no, I was like I could smell it which was making me puke more and I was like gotta get it out Gotta get it out. So yeah, and it was terrible too because my sister this sister was also pregnant. We were a week apart, and we had planned the entire pregnancy that we were both going to be in each other's births. 


And she showed up about the time they were washing my hair, and I was like, No! She can not Don't come in. Don't let her in. And so she never got to be in there. And it was terrible. I can't 


SUZANNAH: believe you were by yourself. I cannot even 


TRISH: No, I wasn't by myself. My ex husband was with me, but okay. I'm glad that 


SUZANNAH: Yeah. 


At least with young being by yourself would be terrible. 


SUZANNAH: No. So true. Oh yeah. I totally was like yelling at my husband because he kept on touching my leg. Like he was trying to stroke my leg and a kind gesture and Oh you're okay. 


You're doing great. And I was like, stop touching my leg. I can't feel it. And it just feels tingly. It just feels weird. I kept on touching my legs and I ended up like slapping him. I was like, do not touch my leg again. I, 


TRISH: I always teach my patients like a sign and I'm sure I know I have it in one and maybe in the birth coach class, but a sign that means get the hell off me so that she doesn't, because when you're in early labor or even the beginning of active labor, it may comfort you, but during transition and the end, it may piss you off. 


Your body language enough or your body language may be so foreign to him at that point that he doesn't see that, no this is not comforting her. This is really aggravating her. Yeah. Oh yeah. But I don't recommend slapping. Maybe not that. 


SUZANNAH: He ended up forgiving me, luckily. 


TRISH: What happens in the labor room stays in the labor room. 


It doesn't matter if you normally never swear and then you're a sailor or you get a little, now I have had patients bite me before. That's over the line. 


SUZANNAH: That's crazy. Yeah. 


SUZANNAH: Yep. So then I like just started pushing, honestly. 


Did not know before I don't know if I missed this somewhere in the birth class I didn't realize that you had to wait for a contraction in order to push like that was my main like thing that totally made pushing like so much harder is like You I just wanted to push through it. I just wanted to push and get the baby out I did not want to have to wait for the contractions, especially at the very end like I The most miserable part was not pushing, which is really interesting. 


I didn't expect that, but yeah, like waiting to push was hard. 


Your uterus is Arnold and you're trying to push, but if you wait for the contraction, And it just magnifies the power and it works so much better. And if you pushed the whole time, you're really compromising the baby as well because during that pushing, the baby has to use their oxygen reserve. So you want to give them that chance. 


You need to catch your breath, let your uterus build the power back up, and then you work together. 


TRISH: You would have worn yourself out and you really wouldn't have gotten anywhere because it's just, you have to wait for that contraction. It's just more power. Now at the very end, sometimes it's okay, but for the most part you want to wait for the power of the contraction, but it it is a relief to push. 


It really is. Yeah. 


SUZANNAH: Yeah. It definitely 


TRISH: is. Alright, so I know you alluded to your pushing time before, but how long was your pushing 


SUZANNAH: time? So it was an hour and a half, so I started pushing at 5 and then he was born at 6. 30, which is 


TRISH: incredibly short. 


SUZANNAH: I know, that feels I don't know, I don't understand how people have different ways. 


Yeah. Yeah. Like versions of how long pushing to be. Honestly, most people I tell they're like, oh my goodness. That was forever I'm like some people literally just push their babies out in 10 minutes. Apparently, I don't know 


You can cut a lot of time off by laboring down. Yeah 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, definitely, 


TRISH: but an hour and a half is a really good Yeah, 


SUZANNAH: and it didn't feel like an hour and a half until the very end, like pushing honestly wasn't bad. The very end was hard because especially is there like crowning and then you have to wait. 


That felt like a pretty long time. But other than that, I feel like it overall went well for sure. 


TRISH: So you push him out and did they, did you do skin to skin? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, so yep, so they like showed him to me. I was like, oh my goodness, like all the chub. I just remember all the rolls. I was so happy. And I was like, I don't know. 


Sizes of a baby looks like he's like probably seven pounds And so then like they brought him up to my chest and I did skin to skin for a minute But I was a little bit worried about him like they cut the umbilical cord and he just I think it was just because I hadn't had a Baby before and seen like that after the blueness and stuff It was stressing me out and I was like is he like breathing and I kept on asking them so they ended up Taking him and making sure that like he was breathing and helping him out a little bit and he ended up being fine. 


But then they weighed him and he was eight nine. And so I was like, oh he was like, he was a decent sized fella. And they're like, yep, he definitely was but honestly, I didn't know the difference. So if they tell you That you're having a big baby and you're scared, don't worry about it, because you probably I couldn't tell the difference. 


I'm pretty sure he still would have hurt just as bad if he was five pounds, 


SUZANNAH: Oh, I was like so happy. Like I was just like crying of joy. It's just like amazing to Being pregnant for so long, like you're pregnant for nine months and then To finally actually see him like I knew he was there the whole time and like especially the unlike they kick a lot but it still feels so so surreal that they're actually there like You're like, wow, like I actually have a baby in my arms and like he's mine, like he's completely mine. 


He looks like me. Like it's such a weird like the most amazing feeling ever. It was really awesome. I loved it. 


TRISH: That's amazing. And how has your transition been into postpartum? 


I did have a second degree tear. And so I think recovery in general, just those first little bit is like, just makes everything a little bit harder because you're trying to like care for this baby while still recovering yourself. And then after that, for a month, I did really good. Recently I've found myself like being like really anxious sometimes. 


And so I'm still like trying to like. work through that and figuring that out. But overall my postpartum period has been really well, 


TRISH: that's awesome. And you've been coming to the postpartum hangouts, right? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, I have. Not as religiously as I did the pregnancy hangouts, but when I can make it, I definitely come. 


And, here's what I did. And then you find your balance and what helps you. So all of those sisters and brothers, are they nearby or do you live away from them? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah, so all of them are, but two, so all of them are in the same Valley within 20 minutes of each other, except for I have a brother that lives in Nevada and then a sister in Alabama. 


Okay. Yeah, it's really fun to have family around. 


TRISH: So are any of them, do any of them have little babies like you? Are you guys? 


SUZANNAH: Yeah. for nieces and nephews. Holy schmoke! Yeah, he's, yeah, my, my little guy was the 25th, so I have tons of nieces and nephews out the wazoo, so I'm always surrounded by little kids, that's for sure. 


When you came into our little labor nurse mama world, what do you feel was like the predominant feelings you were feeling before you took the classes and before you had our support? 


SUZANNAH: I feel like I was nervous. I just didn't know everything to expect. I had obviously heard lots of birth stories, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty things like Bishop's score and all those different things, like I had no clue about it. 


And then it helps me to get a better idea of how far you are along and just everything like 


TRISH: that. So I always ask if you could sum it up in one word, what word would you use after taking the classes and having me and the doulas and the other mamas to support you? What is your one word? Empowered. 


SUZANNAH: Okay. I 


TRISH: love empowered. 


I love it. I love amazing, too. That's fantastic. You have lifetime access to the classes. Baby number two. We'll have your back. 


SUZANNAH: I'll be back around. I'm staying with the community too. I'm just, it's never going to end. It's going to be like that, that Netflix subscription that just keeps on going. 


That's how labor nurse mama is. I'm like, okay, this is my thing. This is forever. It's never going 


SUZANNAH: tHank you so much. 


TRISH: Thank you. Hey, mamas. I hope you enjoyed listening to this birth story. 


We just love our students so much. As always, if you want to join one of our birth classes, click the link in the show notes. We would love to have you come hang out with us every Wednesday in our pregnancy hangout. Okay. We will see you again next Friday. Bye for now.