Scary Thoughts After Birth: Here’s the Truth About PPD and Intrusive Thoughts | 169

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Postpartum depression and intrusive thoughts and the scary ones, the ones that make you question who you are, the ones that whisper in your head, what if I dropped the baby? Or what if something terrible happens? And worst of all, what kind of mother thinks like this? If that's you, you're not broken, you're not dangerous, and you're absolutely not a bad mom.

Intrusive thoughts can come and they can be very distressing. I had them with a couple of my children, but I'll be honest, when I was younger and I had the older boys, no one talked about this. I had no idea that other moms went through this and that it was a part of this experience and that it was normal slash.

Like, what if I suffocate my baby? What if, what if? What if? Like when I would get in the car, it was a panic hot mess. Like, what if I, what if I crash and I could picture these things? My thoughts were very visual and. That's what intrusive thoughts are. They often sound like, what if I fall down the stairs with the baby?

What if I throw the baby out the window? What if I smother the baby in my sleep? What if I lose control and I hurt someone? If any of that sounds familiar, take a deep breath. Intrusive thoughts are a symptom. They're not a reflection of who you are. And some of you guys been on the journey with me since the beginning of labor Nurse Mama.

You know that my family has gone through a hellish nightmare. And during that experience, which you know, it's very, very private. If you're inside my community called Mama Society or you come and you hang out with me on pregnancy, happy hours, you may know some of the story. It's, it's really horrible.

They don't talk about the anxiety or the OCD or the postpartum anger, and it's the way of trying to protect your baby by skinning for danger. But the way that they come in, they feel like you are the danger, but it's your mama brain on high alert because you were built to protect this baby and. In nature.

What if the baby falls out the window? It's not because you are picturing doing it. Your brain is scanning for danger in case it happens and it's pre protecting you. But without support, that hypervigilance can spiral into fear, into feelings of shame. Like, what the hell is wrong with me? And most often it leads to silence.

So it's important to distinguish between intrusive thoughts and postpartum depression, even though they can overlap. And hold hands. They can be friends. Okay. They can come together. Postpartum depression often includes sadness, loss of interest in things you love, feeling numb, crying a lot, and sometimes even trouble bonding with your baby.

And that's why you feel so awful. And that's also why they're a red flag for support, not a son of danger, not like you're a nutcase. And if I tell someone about this, they're gonna take my baby. That is not gonna happen. So let me say this, with all the love and power I have. Having scary thoughts does not make you a bad mom.

And name the thought you might say, I keep having these scary thoughts and they don't feel like me. And you'll be surprised how healing it is just to release it from your brain. And I wanna. I wanna share this story. So when we started Calm Mama Society, we did it a lot because we really wanted to have an all around supportive group for moms.

Whether they're trying to conceive pregnant or postpartum. Selfishly, I didn't want my pregnant mamas who had delivered to leave me because we spend Wednesdays hanging out on Zoom and I, I get to know them and their families and I was gonna miss them. So we were like, you know what? Let's extend this to postpartum most powerful decision I've made in my business that has created amazing.

She's been with me for so long and we're all on Zoom. You know, some people have their cameras off, some of the moms are breastfeeding, some are laying in bed with their babies, and Liz takes this huge, strong step, bold step, courageous step, and shares her intrusive thoughts. And I watched as the cameras popped on one by one, and all these moms are crying and one of her moms, Cassie.

She comes on and she said, oh my God, this happened to me today. And she shares and then another shares, and we're all crying. And for the first time in my life. I realized, oh my gosh, this is, what I went through. And I've never spoken about it. Like I just think I had suppressed it. I had pushed it down so far.

It's 19 bucks a month, girl. You get to come to two or three postpartum hangouts, two to three. Pregnancy hangouts. We've got a VBAC Hangout and we do EFT tapping. Every month, we have a library of those in the portal, and you go to portal with over 70 different types of workshop from before you get pregnant, all the way to postpartum sex life, parenting, mental health, all the things.

What I like about Better Help 'cause I've used that and my children have as well. My older children when we were going through everything is you could really narrow down who you wanna work with and it has a directive of providers. You can check out and decide what it is that you want and if you don't like the therapist, you can actually switch.

So I really like that a lot. Therapy and maybe even medication. A lot of my moms are on medication, and there's literally no shame in that because you need to reclaim your mind and you need to be able to get through this experience. So one thing I really wanna tell you is do not believe the lie in your brain that says you're dangerous.

The truth is you're exhausted. You care deeply. You're scanning for danger, girl. You're trying your best. You're still a good mom, even when your mind is stormy. So the grounding techniques that I love to regulate my nervous system, and I wish I had known these then was EFT Tapping again. I am certified in EFT tapping.

And while you're holding it, I want you to name five things you can see. And you can go through your senses. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, even just 90 seconds of slowing, your body can calm those cascades of thoughts. You are not alone. And if no one has told you lately, hear it from me. You are not alone. You're not the only one.

And we see you and we love you, and we're here for you.

If this episode spoke to you, I'd love for you to share it with a mama friend who needs to hear that she's not alone. So if you have a friend who's just had a baby, send her a link to this podcast because she may be going through it and she's just not talking to anyone. And if you're walking through this right now, please don't go through it.

In silence. You can DM me on Instagram and you can join Calm Mama Society, but get help. Connect with trained professionals. You're doing better than you think You are loved. You are safe, you are enough. And until next time that we chat together, this is your gentle reminder. You're not a bad mom. You're a mom who needs support and that is powerful.

Okay, you guys, I'll see you again next Friday. Bye for now.