Kailee’s Birth Story: An Honest Insight from NICU Nurse to New Mom | 98

I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom of the show notes. 


Kailee: Hi, thanks for having me. You're so Super nervous. My 


Trish: first podcast. 


Oh, so you're a podcast virgin right now. 


Yeah. I've listened to I think every podcast you have and every other One on my library every episode but never been on. 


Trish: Here you go I'm, super happy that it's with ours and I have the advantage you guys of really knowing kaylee because She's been a student of mine for a while, and she's come to our hangouts and when I go live in the community, which I've really been slacking lately, she hops on and hangs out with us and we really get to know each other inside of our community, which I love. 


I went to school just like you to be a nurse and just so passionate about birth that Labor Nurse Mama was born from that. So can you tell everyone just a little bit about you and about this pregnancy? 


Yeah I am 30 years old. First time mom. My husband and I have been together for nine years now. 


My whole pregnancy was pretty healthy. Didn't have any issues. I saw midwives at my hospital that I work at, so that was nice. I was going to deliver there. And yeah, it was uncomplicated throughout the whole thing. I went to 41 and one. I went in when I was on my 41 week for my induction, but was already going into labor. 


Trish: Awesome. So how did you find us? Like how did you find labor Nurse Mama? 


The fearless birth experience? Okay. Yeah. So I took those, but it was hard for me to get on because I worked night shift as a nurse. And so it was like the first hour I was at work was when the classes were. So every once in a while, I'd get on my days off. Sometimes I could hop on while I was at work. 


And I took those classes and then I bought the class when it was all done and Here you are. Yeah. 


Trish: Yeah. And I loved it so much because I have a subset of students who get. completely involved and they take advantage of all that we offer and you were definitely one of those and came and hung out with us and we all got to know you and walk this journey with you. 


I think that's really what sets my program. apart from other programs. Whitney, you agree? 


Yeah, for sure. Cause my sister in law did, we were pregnant at the same time and she did a different class and just talking to her about it and the differences. I'm like I have this and I have this and I get to do this. 


And she's I don't get to do all that. She should have 


Trish: come and joined us for heaven's sake. I 


tried to. I tried to 


Trish: yeah. So let me ask you this. I always like to ask people and I think a lot of people would assume because you're a NICU nurse that you don't go into birth the same, but I would say. 


or? Yes and no. I felt like My knowledge was a blessing and a curse it was like, Oh, I know what to experience because I go to all these different births. 


But at the same time, I'm going to birth where the NICU is needed and something may go wrong. So then it was like I have all this knowledge of what can go wrong. So I'm thinking worst case scenarios for certain things and other people may not even have a gleam of knowledge of What going to 41 weeks may do and I'm like, Oh, like freaking out. 


Trish: helped so much. That was going to be one of my next questions. I was going to ask you once you took the classes, did you feel like you were way more knowledgeable or knowledgeable about birth options? 


Definitely because I, even though I'm a nurse, I know things. I'm a baby nurse. I know things about babies and birth. I know the baby side. I don't know the mom's side. So I had no idea like the ins and outs of actually being a labor patient or even in labor and delivery. The class has helped so much and I felt like going in it made me so much more calm, confident, knowledgeable. 


I felt like I knew. Not what I was doing, but what to expect a little bit more than before. 


And so a lot of labor and delivery nurses, specifically. They only know what we do in the hospital on, which is the normal where you intervene and you bring patients in and do this, that, and the other instead of letting the process unfold. And I am a huge, that huge advocate for letting the process naturally unfold, but also knowing And I've had, six babies, three of whom were inductions and unmedicated and low intervention somewhat. 


And I want to be like, Hey, just like you said before, like you don't come to the picture perfect birth. You don't come to the birth that unfold the way they should. You come to the ones that. Something untoward has happened, so it's just like we all need to see a birth uninterrupted so we can see what's possible. 


I think just having you guys and being able to have like another voice of reason because I went in, I was due on Tuesday, July 25th and I went in for my Check my 40 week check on the 24th and I hadn't been checked. 


I didn't want to be checked because I was like, if anything happens before 40 weeks, surprise, I'm expecting to go to 41. I'm a first time mom. So I did get checked and was hoping to have a membrane sweep when I went in and I was closed high and tight, nothing was really happening yet. And I just remember messaging you guys like. 


It'll happen how it's supposed to happen. Everything. So it was just being prepared to deal with that when I wasn't getting what I wanted really helped knowing that, okay, it will unfold. And I always have you guys as a second voice to go back and ask questions. And when I'm freaking out, you guys are there to calm me down. 


Trish: I love that too. And I love getting in and seeing some of the responses that the doulas will have inside the labor bat signal because we come from such different like they're just, their entire role is support and encourage. And, ours as nurses, even though we do that, we still have the practical medical side of things that we have to do. 


Yeah, that was my personal. I just wanted to I scheduled my induction like 4 41 weeks. And in that week between when I went in on the 24th and I went in, on the first, I believe it was when my scheduled induction was, and. I had an appointment on July 30th to be checked again and knowing in that week I remember talking to you guys and I was like i'm just doing all the things I was doing the mile circuit I was curb walking twice a day. 


Trish: just don't want to go past 41. And sometimes for your own peace of mind, that's what you have to do. 


I think that's a personal decision and you know we support whatever decision you guys make. 


Yeah, it was, I did all the things in that week. I don't. So what happened 


Trish: with your cervix the day before? 


So the day before I went in and they went to check me and I was four and a half. And 


Trish: I wish, so you guys know, I already know this, that's why I was 


laughing a little. 


She was like, you haven't really had contractions. I'm like I just thought they were like, Braxton Hicks said they weren't bad. I don't know. Fine. She's that's pretty good to get to four now. 


Trish: It's truly all in your, it's in your head. I swear by this until my last breath that if in your head, you are telling yourself, this is horrible. 


Cause I'm like, ignore it. 


Yeah. It was definitely, cause there was even, I think it might've been a night before that on Saturday night or Sunday night, that weekend, right before I went in for that. 41 week check. I was having contractions pretty regularly and I had even called in because they were like five minutes apart, lasting a minute for two hours, but they weren't terrible. 


Trish: would say it was a combination of all of it because you don't have to be in horrific pain for dilation to happen. 


Yeah, definitely. So I would say that just everything was a part of the recipe for you to get there. Okay, so when they said four and a half, did you like almost come up off the table? 


Yeah, I like looked at my husband and I was like, yes, it's all working. They were like, do you want me to sweep your membranes? 


And we went out to dinner with my mom. And while we were at dinner, I was like, I think that. These are real contractions, like they were a little bit more painful, they were all in my back, which I have a back condition, so I was already expecting my back to hurt more, whether I had back labor or not my back already hurts. 


All the time. So I was already expecting it. Welcome to 


Trish: nurse life. Yeah. Don't wait. You say, I know the exact patient that I hurt my back on. 


Yeah. Mine's actually from a college basketball injury, but 


Trish: I would hope you're not hurting your back on patients. They weigh like less. Yeah. NICU babies. No. Yeah. 


My patients on the other hand can 


m and I think we ended up heading in at 6 30 because I was just so anxious and they were like coming and I was like, what? Let's just go. Went in Tuesday night and I got settled in around change of shift like 7 30 PM and went from there. So tell us about your induction. Got there at 7 


Trish: 30. 


What were you doing when you got there? 


And she left and I looked at my husband and I was like, I don't know if I want to do that. The midwife came in, which luckily it was a midwife that I had seen frequently throughout my pregnancy and she's I think I'd rather just give you a cytotec and just see how we go from there because you still have a little ways to go. 


But they're like, you're contracting really regularly. Like they were surprised that I wasn't, I don't know, I guess calling out more or whatever. Staying in bed, watching tv and so did that all night. Went to the morning, I think they came in and checked me again around 5:00 AM I wanna say, and I was five centimeters. 


Like you're like, ah, yeah, starting to soften a little bit more. They said I don't remember the exact. that I was. But you 


Trish: must have been thicker for her to do side attack. Yeah. They usually, yeah, they usually won't start you. On side of tech, if you're already thinned out 


some. Yeah. When I know when I went in at 8 PM, like I definitely was thicker, but I think at five AM I had started to soften and thin out a little bit. 


Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she said that she wanted to give me another cytotex before we did anything, which I was totally fine with. 


So I don't think they ended up coming in until later in the morning. I think something, another birth happened and they were caught up for a few hours. So I didn't get my second cytotex until I think around 9 a. m. It was like after change of shift. So that's the second one. And at that point I was up for the day, didn't really sleep throughout the night, but was like ball bouncing. 


Trish: AKA the toilet for those of you guys who don't know, it's a 


miracle worker. Yeah, I just did that literally all day long and they checked me again in the afternoon and I think I was about five and a half so I wasn't making like tons of change, but I was thinning out, I went and sat on the toilet a second time and at that second time, I don't know if that's what your body kicked in. 


Trish: Yeah, my body kicked in. I say this all the time, there's cytotect contractions, there's pitocin contractions, there's cervidil contractions, but when your body is okay, whatever, I'll do it, that, that's 


when it goes. 


I had the worst back labor ever like I didn't feel it anywhere other than my lower back. And I just remember laying in bed and it was like I was doing that like low guttural moan. And it got to a point where I was like, I need to, I need something. So I Back, back 


Trish: pain is unbearable. It brings it to a whole different level. 


It 


was like, I had, I have back pain, but I have never had that back pain in my life. So Yeah, it's hell. 


Trish: I had that with my 


So I was so mad though, because they had come in throughout the night to get anesthesia consent. Like they're like, just in case something happens, we have to take you into a C section. Want an epidural? Like it's already done. You already gave consent, whatever. I was like, cool, no problem. Apparently the nitrous consent is separate. 


anesthesia. I knew where this was 


Trish: going, which is the last thing you want to do is consent when you feel like that. 


Yeah. So they're like, can you initial? And I'm like, I can't hold this pen right now. So I don't even know what my initials look like on that paper, but finally consented to that. They finally brought it in, got it set up at this point. 


Trish: That's, that it either works really well or it doesn't work at all or it makes you very sick. Those are the three options. 


Yeah. Yeah. She was like that, which they had said that was one of the side effects, while I was signing the consent and I just started getting so sick. I started throwing up instantly. Yeah. And it was a mess. It was a mess. I was like, at the point where I was just like, screw it. I just want an epidural. 


Trish: Do we know what we're dilated to at this point or no? No. The last time I was checked, I really think you're in transition 


too. Yeah, I was still five and a half the last time they checked 


Trish: me. Not at that point, I guarantee it. 


So I wanted, I think they, it's all so hazy, but I think they did come in and check me. 


I'm like, okay, I want to try to do it without. So I look at the nurse, the nitrosim work, I'm getting sick. I'm like, I just want the epidural. Just get me the epidural. She's okay. I'll go get anesthesia. She goes to walk out of the room to get anesthesia and my water break. 


Trish: I really think Kaylee, that you were hitting like seven centimeters. 


Yeah. So Anesthesia came in and they're like, Oh, this is change of shifts for us. Do you think you can wait? And I look at them and I was like I 


Trish: will tear your head off. If I have to wait, 


that's what I was like. If I absolutely have to, I don't have a choice, but do I want to wait? No. And the guy, it was the 


Trish: same. 


Of course it was a man that would say that. 


as fast as they just did for you. She's that is the fastest I have ever seen that move. Nice. They needed to. So motivation, go home 


Trish: when I'm done with this epidural. 


Yeah. So he, they put it in And after that, they checked, they did check me and I think I was six and a half. So I was hitting, I was like starting to really hit that point. 


It probably won't work. I don't really understand what he was saying because then the new anesthesiologist came in and she was like the head of anesthesia had been there for 20 plus years and she's I tend to do things a little differently from my experience. So we're going to give you that extra medication. 


It's horrible. Yeah. And my mom's that's how I 


Trish: feel. So sorry for patients when I see that sometimes, because it's very 


disconcerting. It was funny though, because when they were the whole thing about this extra medication, my husband took all your classes with me and he took like the. partner class. 


And when that When the lady anesthesiologist came in and she's Oh, we're going to give you the extra medication. My husband was like, wait a second. He said that if she got this, she couldn't get other stuff and then she's going to be in pain and it might not work. And what if you give it to her? 


And then he's like trying to be my advocate and I'm like, I don't care. I want to give it to me. Yeah, 


Trish: good for 


So they were flipping me to the right, to the left, to the right. Like I was every 30 seconds flipping in bed side to side. So it was, I would say about an hour of just straight position changes. And they came and checked me again. I think at this point it's 6 30 p. m. And I was nine and a half with the smallest lip. 


And at that point, she was like, I forget what they even said to me. And I was like I'd really to try to labor down. And they're like, yeah, I think that's a great idea. Just keep doing what you're doing as long as his heart rate cooperates, so 


We'll call it a lip. So that's what she's talking about. Okay, go ahead 


So here's the nurse I could tell just because from being a nurse, she's trying to flip me around. She really hasn't left my room because she's trying to get his heart rate to stabilize and it just keeps decelling. And she's 


Trish: were you on oxygen 


at this point? 


No. I'm just epidural hitting my button and. And no 


Trish: Pitocin, or yes, Pitocin. No Pitocin. Okay, that's what I 


thought. I have, I don't even think I had fluid. Nothing on board, yeah. At this point. Yeah. They come in, his heart rate keeps decelling. I think I had one blood pressure that was like, a little bit softer than what, lower than what my other ones had been. 


Trish: had a bag of fluid going. You can't, like with an epidural, you should have, you 


always have a Yeah, I guess they did, but I think they gave me a bolus. 


Trish: Yeah, they probably did. I think they gave me an extra bolus. 


That's one of the, that's one of the things we do for, I'm just surprised they didn't put oxygen 


on you. They gave me an extra bolus and the nurse was like, I really think you need to start pushing. I think we need to get this baby out. And at that point I'm like, okay, that means his heart rate's down. 


It's not coming back up. We're having a hard time. Like my nurse brain is we're like starting to go. So we, the midwife comes in, they check me again. She's okay, I think we can start pushing. I was started pushing. I think I had been pushing for maybe five to 10 minutes and they were doing a really good job of letting me push on my side and. 


His heart rate is just lower. There's going to be a lot of people that come in. I don't want you to be alarmed. And at this point I know you're like, Oh 


Trish: shit, the NICU is getting called. 


I know what to expect. So they haven't called them yet, but the doctor comes in and he was. Coming down well, like I could, I was using the mirror. 


I could start to see his hair, but he just didn't want to, he was, I don't know if he wasn't coming under the speed bump. Yeah. Yeah. Under the big bump. 


Trish: Was he in a wonky position? 


No, he was how he was supposed 


He might have been he might have been but 


Trish: they sound like your whole labor sounds like a wonky position 


It might have been and I think that at one of my checks one of the midwives did say she thinks thought he was A little wonky. 


Yeah. He sounds like a wonky baby. But she wanted to use the vacuum, which at that point, I was like, I just want him safely out. I don't want to be rushed to a speed section. No, there's an appropriate use for a vacuum. Yeah, for sure. Because his heart rate had been. It wasn't consistently down for so long. 


It would recover, but I knew it kept going down. But enough to exhaust him. Yeah. Exactly. And I was like, okay, let's just get this kid out safely, because now I'm starting to worry as a NICU nurse. They ended up being a vacuum. Now, does 


Trish: your hospital call NICU when they put a vacuum on? 


When they said, yeah, so when they said we're going to do vacuum, they called NICU. 


It was just a mess. And 


Trish: I remember you saying one of your co workers was like, we didn't know it was you. 


Yeah. So they the NICU did come, I think she called the charge nurse, which it was night shift charge. I'm a night shift charge nurse. So she like got everyone up there quickly. But the fellow and the nurse from the NICU came in and then the respiratory therapist and the nurse practitioner stayed outside the room. 


And my husband really wanted to deliver him, so they let him pull him out even though he had all these issues and nuchal. So my husband, there's a really funny video of him, not a video, but a live picture. And he's like starting to grab him and there's sound to it. And he's I need your help. I need your help. 


I need your help. I want this. I'll send it to you. Yes. He's, cause Mac, my son Malcolm, Mac was so slimy that my husband thought he was going to drop him. But 


Trish: you and I both know that does go through our heads sometimes. That's why when, for those of you guys, when you see a labor nurse or a NICU nurse grabbing the baby, you're like, Oh my God. 


Yeah, so they threw him up on me and knowing, this is just my personal opinion, no one told me this, but I think if they If I hadn't have been a NICU nurse and known to like immediately start to stem him the way, stimulate him the way that I did, I think that they may have like cord clamped and took him over 'cause he was purple. 


Like purple, purple. And so they did delay cord clamp for a little bit, which is what I wanted. I was. Simulating the heck out of him and he after I don't know about, it's probably only 10 seconds, but it seems like 30 seconds. He started crying, got it together, pinked up and was good. And then we just stayed skin to skin and started golden hour and everything from there was good. 


Trish: that's so awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that. So let me ask you a couple questions about your postpartum experience, because I think that, that is also really important to discuss because I think a lot of people don't You know, talk about it. As far as your healing journey I know some of it, but what would you say has been the best what, okay, let me ask you, let's say this again. 


What would you recommend to a first time mom? What has been, like, the most impactful for you postpartum? 


I think having the knowledge doing the postpartum. Class of kind of what to expect and also having other moms like a community and even I had my step sister and my sister in law both gave, we all gave birth within six months of each other. 


And so just having access to real life experiences and not just Google and articles that tell you. Was so helpful. 


Trish: And then you have the, so you're, I'm assuming you're talking about in the community. Yeah. In our community. Yeah, with you guys, for sure. And then you have professional responses as well. 


searchable. 


Yeah, it was, I think that was the most helpful because as a first time mom, even I feel like second, third, fourth, like your journey may be different each time. So I think just having that access, because I had no idea what to expect I felt the little glimmer I had of what to expect in L& D before I even did the classes. 


Trish: I love that so much. And I even can remember like on the hangouts as you were preparing to go back to work as well. And Navigating some of those things with the other mamas. So for those of you guys listening we've changed up things a little bit, but we have what we call our virtual access membership that you can buy our classes without it, but we really recommend that you upgrade to the virtual access because that is where like. 


I have, because I'm the same as you, Kaylee I do labor. I don't like the babies, and I say don't like, not in a mean way, because I obviously love babies. I have seven. But they can't tell you what's up. They just go bad, and that's that. They don't give you a warning. They're just all of a sudden bad, where moms can verbalize, and I like the moms. 


I also am not a huge fan of floating to postpartum, and but my only real postpartum experience has been my own. And so the postpartum community has grown my knowledge and my understanding of what women experience during postpartum because the truth is, my friends and I didn't have time to talk to each other about the realities of it because we were in it. 


Yeah, it was definitely nice, especially because there was other I felt like when I was preparing to go back to work and I would come on the hangouts and stuff, I think there was a couple other moms that are nurses and did night shift when they first went back or had done night shift throughout having a baby and toddler and stuff like that. 


So it was nice to hear their experiences, bad and good and bad, because I wanted to be prepared for what it's going to be. And I've still only. for a little over a month and I'm still, trying to figure it out some weeks. 


Give a couple tips. 


I feel like I'm really lucky because my husband works from home and is like Works for himself. So it's very flexible. So I feel like I'm lucky. Yeah, that I am actually able to sleep like I am able to come home from work and sleep from 8 to 2 or 9 to 2 or get up, just get up to pump when I have to. 


I have worked a couple day shifts and I absolutely still hate it. I'm definitely a night shift girl because One, I love night shift more, and two, I feel like I'm not missing anything. So my anxiety decreased significantly 


Trish: after those first few nights. Yeah, I went, I didn't go back to work with Grayson till, gosh, I don't remember, but it was day shift, but with Lainey I went back to night shift, and I would agree. 


And I spaced my shifts out to where I didn't have to sleep all day the next day. Yeah. And I just went back part time. Thank you so much for coming today. I appreciate you being on and you know we love you and we're so grateful that you chose us to be a part of your journey. It's been an honor. 


So thank 


you. Yeah. Thank you guys. It's been great to have you and I recommend you to all my pregnant nurses at work that are new moms. So nice. 


Trish: We have, do you know that we have a referral 


Trish: All right, Kaylee. Thank you so much. 


And for the rest of you guys, thank you so much for joining us today. And as always, I'll see you again next Friday. Bye for now.