I’ve been a labor nurse for over 12 years and I’m the nurse you want if you are going natural.
I LOVE natural birth. I live for it. Natural birth is the reason I went to nursing school and why I’ve focused my career on birth. No matter which hospital I’ve been a labor nurse at (I am a part-time travel nurse, so that’s been a lot) the staff learns right away to give Trish the natural chick.
I am here to tell you, YOU MUST BE PREPARED. It’s near impossible to wing natural birth.
It is important to keep in mind that our bodies must work pretty well, or there wouldnt be so many humans on the planet. Ina May Gaskins
Natural birth is subjective to each individual.
Definitions of natural birth per patients:
“Natural birth means your baby came out of your hoohah and not a c-section”
“Natural birth does not include inductions”
“Natural birth means you didn’t have an epirudal but you could have other pain medications”
“Natural birth is when you have a home birth”
“Natural birth means no medical interventions”
However, for most people, natural birth refers to no pain interventions. So, we are gonna talk about that little tidbit in a minute.
Also, this post may contain some affiliate links (which means if you purchase after clicking a link I will earn a small commission, but it wont cost you a penny more)! Click here for our full disclosure. Thank you!
But first, I started this blog as a place for women to gather, around the proverbial kitchen table if you will, and discuss, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. I am here for you and I want to help you. If you want a labor nurse in your corner, subscribe to my email list. I promise I won’t overwhelm you with junk. What I will do, is be there for you and supply you with the knowledge to grow as a mom and woman! You will also have my email address to ask me questions and seek advice during your pregnancy and beyond. Your personal labor nurse!
I had my first son when I was 17 and I honestly think my fear of needles led me to go natural and natural I did. Girl, I even did shots of castor oil and let’s just say, after puking and pooping my guts out, I had my bouncing baby boy. Castor oil works, if and only if your body is ready, but there is a price to pay because castor oil is rough.
Subsequently, I had 5 more natural births over the years (the many years). Again, I love natural birth. It is empowering to face the amount of pain and say, &#$% you, I got this. Natural birth is a mind over matter issue. If you can grab your mental game and harness it, you will succeed. But you need some tools to do that. So here is my natural birth guide for you to follow.
But first, This post may contain some affiliate links (which means if you purchase after clicking a link we will earn a small commission, but it wont cost you a penny more, and we can keep writing)! Thank you! For our full disclosure read here)
Natural Birth Lesson One | CHOOSE WISELY
You must, must, did I say must choose your provider wisely. If you know anyone who works in this “industry” then ask their opinion. When you find a provider that you feel is a fit, then you need to ask the right questions and listen between the lines. It’s so important to be on the same page. This is a monumental occasion for you but a work day for most providers (although I know some that truly are present and love their job) You need to be upfront about your expectations. (Which also means you need to know what to expect or what you would like to happen at your birth) Unmet expectations lead to frustrations.
Do you want an Obstetrician or a Midwife? There are benefits to both. I personally had an OB for my first two and a midwife for my last four. I adored my Midwife and loved the extra care she provided to me. Now, that being said there are two types of midwives: “Midwife midwives” and “Doctor Midwives” The first being more likely to spend a significant amount of time with you at your appointments and during your labor. (Hard cold fact: it’s usually you and your nurse until the baby is about to make its grand entry, at which time the nurse summons the Dr., who then delivers said baby.)
Keep in mind Midwives only deliver healthy, noneventful pregnancies. They cannot manage a High-Risk patient or deliver via cesarean. However, a midwife always has an OB that backs them up in case of emergencies.
Choosing where to give birth is also important. This choice can be made prior to choosing a provider. But then you have to choose a provider who delivers at that facility or if you have chosen a provider, you must deliver where they have privileges. In choosing a facility, visit and ask about natural birth. Ask what options they provide for those who want to labor naturally.
Natural Birth Lesson Two | WATCH, LISTEN, & LEARN
Girl, you have to educate yourself. Education is the key to facing any fears. If you walk into a difficult situation without knowledge, your chances of a win are down low. Natural birth is big and scary without understanding the components.
You need to know the stages of labor and all each one entails. Each stage has its battle and once won, you face the next.
I totally recommend anything by Ina May Gaskins, you should devour her books. I’ll admit that some of the content is a bit strange but she has valuable knowledge for the natural patient. ( also, check out her breastfeeding books)
Next, I would tell you to talk to women who have had planned and unplanned natural birth. If you only hear from mamas who chose medicated births, you won’t have a fair picture. Their perspective of the pain involved is different. When you go into labor not wanting to feel pain and not prepared with ways to deal, it is overwhelming.
I highly recommend taking a prenatal class. If you are a crazy busy millennial mom, then check out this Online Prenatal Course by a labor nurse names Hilary. or this one (you can take online or search for a local class) Birth Boot Camp
Either a weekly class at the hospital or a class you watch from your couch is valuable in assisting you to stay the course and finish your natural birth like a boss.
Natural birth is a mind game. So, talk to those chicks who did it and ask them what helped them, what didn’t help them, and find your game plan.
Natural Birth Lesson Three | FIND YOUR SUPPORT
You will need someone who supports your decision if you choose natural birth. Childbirth wasn’t always a “medical” event. At one time in history, it was a celebration and woman made a wall around you and guided you through. There wasn’t this sense of judgment and condemnation for your choice. A woman supporting another. That’s what you need. Women who will come along side you, encourage you and hold you up when you want to quit.
Husband/partner:
I mentioned earlier, your husband may be the right choice and may rock as a coach. However, I still recommend a second coach to be with you if possible. Partners are emotionally involved. They might now be able to separate your pain and their need to fix it for you. They need to guide you through it, not around it.
Family or friend:
If you have a close friend whom you trust and know will support your natural birth path, then ask her if she would be willing to do this with you. You want someone who won’t say “You’re hurting, you can always quit” Nope, this girl won’t be the right one. You NEED a rock!!
Doula:
What is a doula? Hiring a doula to support you through natural birth is a well-spent investment. She is not emotionally involved therefore supports you based on her knowledge of childbirth. You will experience the stages of labor in similar ways to countless (if not most) other women. She will be trained to respond appropriately to that particular stage. She will know the amount of firm direction you need. Which is exactly what you need. You need to read all about doulas and why to choose doula services! Also, Be prepared with a list of questions to ask prospective doulas.
My only soapbox when it comes to some doulas (not many) is that you (my patient) needs to trust me (the nurse). Please be cautious when warning her of the “medical establishment” and the unnecessary things we do. We as nurses have to follow orders, that is true. But we a feisty bunch….and if your nurse is like many that I know, we are the ones who will pop them claws out and fight that doctor for our patients. It’s damaging when a patient comes into the hospital to have this incredible experience and she mistrusts her nurse. At least give us the chance and if it is, in fact, a nurse who is not quite the right fit, ask for a new one. I tell my friends and family, this often, you have the right to have a good nurse. Birth is your moment, be kind but let your needs be known.
Natural Birth Lesson Four | Make a Plan
Now that you have been educated about natural birth make your plan. I prefer to call it a natural birth preference (aka Birth Plan). Your support group needs to know your desires and also what you are opposed to, and when to stand their ground against you. Sister, you will fight your own plan at some point in labor!
Check out this customizable Birth Plan by my friend Heather, who also is a Labor & Delivery RN!
Don’t forget, I Love natural birth!! Save this natural birth guide for when you need it and also head over and read these posts one on the signs of labor and a post on preparing for labor
If you have some questions or want to share your experiences, please comment.
Let’s learn from one another.
Hi I’m planning on having a natural birth with my first baby. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for this journey but not very many people around me are supportive of this decision. I’m sort of seen as weak and I would like to use this experience to prove to myself I can do anything I put my mind too. I also feel as though this Experience was done for many years by women who had no other choice but to have their babies naturally. I want to feel my baby come into this world and I want to experience this miracle and everything it offers, but I am also very scared. I have my mind set on natural but Their isn’t many people for me to talk to about having a natural birth. Many people I talk to have negative things to say about the feeling of contractions and they have ended up getting epidurals. My fiancé wants his mother to be in the rooms with us while I’m having our baby and she is one of the people who are negative about labor. I fear having her in the room with us because I know it will be a time I need support most and my fiancé needs support also so I didn’t want to have him feel alone or like his feelings don’t matter. My mom will also be in the room and I feel like she will be supportive of me but I’m also scared of not having the support I need. I can’t afford a doula or midwife. I need help with finding the words to say to “ my support team “ before they turn my experience of labor into a negative one also. I also would love to hear how you prepared yourself for natural birth and ended up going threw with it every time.
I am 32 weeks and ready to pop.
Sorry about the rant I’m pretty scared and need advice but have no where to get it.
Hello, I am so glad you took the time to write all that out. I have so much to say to each fear you have. But first…You are a rock star for wanting to experience natural labor. Next, The labor room is your room. I tell my patients and my friends, it’s like planning a wedding. You can’t worry about everyone else’s feelings. Girl, So, make a plan and tell them this is your plan. Don’t make excuses…So “Hey guys, I am planning to have a natural birth, I’m so excited about it and because natural birth is a difficult path I am only going to have my mom and fiance in the room for support during the labor. I love you so much and would love for you to be at the hospital to come in and see the baby soon after birth.” After you tell whoever your plan, don’t backtrack or feel bad. YOU HAVE NOTHING to feel bad about. Labor is intimate.
AS for my births, I am a pretty strong-willed person. I made a decision the first time because I saw the epidural needle and was like, HELL NO! I loved my birth experience. I labored at home for a long time because I was unsure. That taught me the valuable lesson that laboring at home isn’t as painful as being strapped to the hospital bed. So stay at home as long as possible. Labor is a mind game. You stay in control and you can do it.
We are in the process of creating a facebook support group, connecting pregnant women and moms together to share valuable advice. There will also be labor nurses, doulas, and more. It’s in the baby stages, but you should join. https://www.facebook.com/groups/HHmomsupportgroup/
Also, keep checking back as I publish some new posts about natural labor in the next few weeks.
Feel free to also email us or comment for our support.
STAY STRONG!!!
Trish
Loved this! I was aiming for a natural birth and started my first labor with a Midwife, but my little one decided to be face-presentation. The midwife transferred us to an OB who performed a flawless cesarean section. I am looking forward to trying for a natural birth again with our new little munchkin. Thank you for the great thought points!
Rebekah,
We just had a face presentation at work last week. It’s quite a spectacle. Good luck with your VBAC (Vaginal delivery after cesarean section). I’m excited to hear the outcome with your sons birth!! Keep us posted!
Trish