Who's afraid of vaginal tearing during birth? Um…none of us want to tear our lady bits! We hear this all the time over on IG. We know this fear is filling your brain right now. So Trish is breaking it down today.

Vaginas are made to stretch and accommodate your baby. A vaginal tear is your body's natural response to a need for more room for the baby your body built.

I want to help you arm yourself with knowledge. Knowledge is power. Knowledge combats fear. We love to disarm fears around here.

Fear and birth are a terrible mix.

Trish will break it all down in her particular unorthodox view of birth and all the fear surrounding it. Listen in, and let's talk about what vaginal tearing is, why it happens, who it happens to, and what you can do to TRY to prevent it.


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00:00:00] Trish Ware: Let go of the fear of tearing. We fear the unknown. We fear a threat, birth is not a threat. Tearing is not a threat. It's what your body is supposed to do. Welcome to the birth experience podcast. I'm Trish Ware a long time labor and delivery RN turned online birth educator slash virtual doula. I've had the amazing privilege of delivering many, many babies in my 16 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse. 

[00:00:32] Trish Ware: And as a mother. I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby and write the birth story of your dreams. So hit subscribe and let's replace your anxiety and fear with complete confidence. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace

[00:01:00] your medical advice from your provider. 

[00:01:02] Trish Ware: Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom of the show notes. 

[00:01:11] Trish Ware: Whenever I pull my audience and I have a pretty big audience over there on Instagram. We're talking about over 168,000 women. Whenever I pull my audience and ask. What are you most afraid of when it comes to birth? Number one, it's always the unknowns or be in coerced by your providers are not being listened to by your providers. 

[00:01:37] Trish Ware: However, another really common one is vaginal tissue. I hear this all the time. In fact, when I first started teaching online, I asked my fellow mama friends, what should I start with? And they all said vaginal tearing. So we're going to start with

[00:02:00] that here on my brand new podcast, the birth experience with labor nurse mama.

[00:02:05] Trish Ware: And I wanted to start with this fear because this one. Ladies is super easy to deal with because if you don't listen to another bit of this, which I hope you stay to the end, but if you don't listen to any more of it, I want you to know here's my insider pro tip. This is from a labor and delivery nurse of 16 years. 

[00:02:27] Trish Ware: Hundreds of thousands of babies. Well, maybe not that many, but lots and lots and lots of babies. A mama of six. I'm going to tell you this insider tip right here. It's not that bad. Vaginal tearing is not as bad as you fear the fear of it, things. It, the things you think of in your mind is a lot worse than it actually happening. 

[00:02:51] Trish Ware: So we're going to break it down today because I want you to stop worrying about that. One of the most important things you can do, and this is something I work

[00:03:00] hard on. Like, I go hard in my birth course. Is all about releasing fear, fear leads to tension, tension leads to tight muscles, tight muscles leads to difficult labor, including increased chances of tearing. 

[00:03:18] Trish Ware: So we're going to break it down. We're going to talk about what it is, what it isn't. We're going to talk about some ways that you can decrease your chances of a worst hair. Now, did I say prevent? No. You can't absolutely prevent it, but we're going to talk about some ways that you can lessen your chances. 

[00:03:37] Trish Ware: There are some things that are inside your control, and then there's some things outside of your control. So we're going to go over it all at the end. You're going to take a nice deep. And when you release your breath, you're going to throw your hands in the air and you're going to release this fear. I also have a really cool download ebook, a little guide to tearing, and an

[00:04:00] action plan is included in it. 

[00:04:01] Trish Ware: You can go to labor nurse moma.com forward slash tearing to get it. And, uh, you can check it out and have a nice little guide to tiering, but maintain. Don't sweat it. It's okay. I promise we're going to go into full detail. 

[00:04:25] Trish Ware: All right. So what is tearing? Tearing is exactly what you think it is. It is a tear to your lady. That's, let's talk about. How often do people tear, depending on your risk factors, the stats say that nine out of ten first MoMA's are going to tear. Now the type of tear is dependent on you and your situation. 

[00:04:51] Trish Ware: However, the majority of women have a first degree or second degree tear. Those are the most

[00:05:00] common. So we're going to talk about the types of tearing the ones that we should be a little more wary of are the third and fourth degree tears, but not many more. Get those. So I don't want you to worry about it. 

[00:05:16] Trish Ware: So let's talk about the different types of tears. First degree tear is the least severe. It only affects the perinatal skin. So the outside layer, it's a graze insiders like me, labor nurses and birth professionals. We call that a Skidmore. There's no repair needed and you're going to heal pretty quickly. 

[00:05:38] Trish Ware: It can be sore. I mean, we're talking about your vagina. The healing part can be a little sore, but girl, you're going to stock up on those postpartum supplies and I'm going to have a link in the show notes to everything I talk about. So don't worry about taking notes. But you're going to want to have your pad Sickles. 

[00:05:55] Trish Ware: I'll give you the recipe. You're going to want to have your epi phone. You're going to want to

[00:06:00] have your peroneals spray. You're going to want to have your dermaplaning. You're going to want to have all of these things so that this is not a huge deal during your postpartum recovery. Now secondary tears, they affect the muscle of the paraniem and the peroneals skin. 

[00:06:17] Trish Ware: So they go a little deeper. They usually need stitches. Sometimes just a few. The repair is done right after your placenta comes out in the labor room. If you have an epidural, we'll keep it running. If you don't have an epidural. The provider will give you a little bit of an injection of lighter cane and you'll be on your way. 

[00:06:38] Trish Ware: They usually don't cause long-term problems, neither first degree to errors or second degree tears. However, like I said before, they can be sore. A secondary tear is going to take you a little longer to heal, but I promise you it's not horrible. Now third degree [00:07:00] tear. These are the ones that get a little more complicated. 

[00:07:03] Trish Ware: However, they're very uncommon, very uncommon. So I don't want you to be stressed in about this third degree. Tears go from the vagina to the anus, not fun at all. This will involve the perinatal skin, the muscle issue and the anal sphincter muscles as. It will require repair. No, if ands or buts, usually a third degree tear repair is done in the labor room with your epidural running, or like before we'll give you a injection of light, a cane. 

[00:07:44] Trish Ware: The external stitches usually dissolve within a few weeks, like two weeks tops, but the internal may take up to 12 weeks. This type of tear can also cause you some pelvic floor issues. So I [00:08:00] recommend to my girls inside calm, labor, confident. That they ask for a referral or they contact a pelvic floor specialist. 

[00:08:12] Trish Ware: And go ahead and be on top of the girl. You want to make sure you are ahead of it so that you don't have any problems. They can assess you and let you know if you're, um, a candidate. So go ahead and just do it. Most times, I believe insurance will cover. Fourth degree tear. This is the big daddy, and this is the one that causes the most issues. 

[00:08:33] Trish Ware: This is the most severe, but also the least common. It extends through the anal sphincter and into the mucus membrane, lining the rectum, no fun at all. So you're going to have all the away from the vagina to the booty, and it's pretty intense. It usually is repaired in the operating room. So they're going to take you to the operating room, clean you up, [00:09:00] and it takes about three months to heal as well. 

[00:09:03] Trish Ware: And it most likely will cause some pelvic floor issues it's really depends on you and your health status on whether or not. So make sure third and fourth degree tear. I want you to get a referral. For a pelvic floor specialist. Now, how do we care for our tears? This is something I want you guys to be prepared for just in case the number one way that you can prepare for a tear or for healing recovery is to be educated. 

[00:09:41] Trish Ware: You need to be educated. I want you to know. What the types of tears are so kudos to you. You're learning that right now. And I want you to know what you can do to care for them. So this is something I'm going to have in the show notes. We're not going to go into too much detail, but there's a couple of things I [00:10:00] recommend that you get. 

[00:10:01] Trish Ware: One is called a sitz bath. This is a handy little. Postpartum golden nugget. You want one of these? There's a great one. That's collapsible on Amazon and I have a link to it and you can store it very easily. Keep it for your next baby. It's not only good for tearing, but it's also good for a sore paraniem and for hemorrhoids, this is valuable to have, they are amazing. 

[00:10:29] Trish Ware: It's a little bit. Dub thing, it looks like a mini baby bath and you sit it in your toilet and you have very warm water in it. And some of them have like a bag with a catheter that comes down like a tube that comes down and it replenishes it with more hot water and you just can really clean and soothe the area. 

[00:10:51] Trish Ware: I love that. The other thing you want to do, like I said before is do some pad Sickles prepare them ahead of time. I recommend a, [00:11:00] my girls six to eight, typically my mama's who go over eight to 10, usually have too many and have them left over. So make a nice batch. You're not going to want to use them for long. 

[00:11:12] Trish Ware: The other thing I recommend having is tucks pads and epi foam. You can get these in the hospital. Hint, hint, any supplies we given you in the hospital ask for extra anything that is, um, reusable, we're gonna throw away. So take it with you. Take your peri bottle. It looks like a little mustard. It looks like a mustard or ketchup, like a, a condiment bottle with a point of. 

[00:11:38] Trish Ware: Use it word of gosh. And when you use it, make sure you don't touch yourself with it. I have to tell my patients all the time, cause they'll put it right up there and get the tip on their vagina. You don't want to do that. You're setting yourself up for infection. So make sure you hold. A few inches away. 

[00:11:56] Trish Ware: And before you sit down on the toilet or [00:12:00] have your partner or someone fill it up with nice warm water. And after you go to the bathroom, clean off with that, and then pat dry, you don't want to rub if you have a tear. 

[00:12:16] Trish Ware: So my hope for you guys is that you're going to stretch and accommodate the baby. But some of you just might need a little more room. Here's what I want you to know about tearing. Tearing is our body's way of a comedy. Our baby. So you don't need to be scared about it. This is how our body works and our body is so amazing. 

[00:12:44] Trish Ware: It heals so beautifully. I want you to think about this. When you're pushing your baby out, if it needs a little more room, then the vagina is made to tear a little to accommodate the baby. [00:13:00] Do not be a worried about it. This is what we want to happen. If the baby needs more room, now, there are some things that you can do to help prevent that from happening. 

[00:13:13] Trish Ware: One of the best things you can do. One of the absolute best things that you can do is eat a healthy diet during pregnancy and stay hydrated. Think about our paraniem as skin, because it is just like your face. So if you were trying to clear up your face or have better skin on your face, you would drink a lot of water and eat a healthy diet. 

[00:13:38] Trish Ware: Like that is the best thing to get. Nice. Glowing. Um, skin that's healthy. So I want you to remember that when you're thinking about vaginal Tarion and birth in general, two of the most powerful things you can do, we're going to talk a little bit more about some other ways that you can help decrease your chances of tiering. 

[00:13:58] Trish Ware: However, I [00:14:00] want to talk about the risks. So we're going to talk about that first. What increases the risk of vaginal tears? Here are some things that can increase your risk. We're not going to go over mall, but we'll talk about some, a big baby. So a big baby usually means. There's two ways that you could potentially prevent a big baby. 

[00:14:24] Trish Ware: If you're gestational diabetic, keeping those blood sugars in control, eat a healthy diet during pregnancy. All of you get moving, go walking, but you know what? If your husband. Is six foot six or like one of my students, your husband weighed 11 pounds when he was born and you were eight or nine bounds, then chances are, you're going to have a big baby. 

[00:14:47] Trish Ware: And I don't want you to worry about that. Your body made this baby and your body can push this baby out. Now talking about diet and nutrition, [00:15:00] if you gain a lot of weight. So that's another risk factor, a high waking. So again, Eat a healthy diet. Don't fall into the trap of your eating for, to eat healthy, eat according to your body's needs. 

[00:15:16] Trish Ware: Another thing that can increase your risk, that you can't really control once you're pregnant is if you're young, really young or an older mama. So teens and older moms tend to tear a little bit more. I've been both. With my first, I was very young and I did tear and I got an episiotomy because my doctor was in a hole. 

[00:15:38] Trish Ware: And we'll talk about that on another podcast, any use of assisted devices like forceps and vacuums, those can all increase the chance of a vaginal tear or a more significant tear. One of the ways that you can decrease the likelihood of an assisted device [00:16:00] is to keep moving, to, um, get on your hands and knees to get on your side, to get into a position that. 

[00:16:06] Trish Ware: Uh, flat on your back with your feet in the air, which if you follow me on Instagram, I'm labor dotted step mama. You know, I get into all of these soap stands or soap boxes, whatever you call it about big babies, about pushing and the pushing one really gets. Fired up. I don't understand why in the world that it is okay. 

[00:16:31] Trish Ware: That we're told to lay flat on her back with her feet in the air and the exact same position that we get a pap smear. This position is called lithotomy and it's asinine that they expect us to do that when we're having a baby, like who in the world would ever lay flat on their back, put their feet up in stirrups and try to poop when they're constipated. 

[00:16:55] Trish Ware: Pushing a baby out as the biggest constipation in the world. So why would you do that? It makes no sense. And I'm [00:17:00] getting fired up now, hopefully that you'll appreciate this, but you do not have to push in lithotomy and if your provider says, well, that's how I do it, then you can say, well, that's not how I do it. 

[00:17:12] Trish Ware: And they cannot force you to get in lithotomy now in an emergency situation, if there's something unusual going on. Different because it does allow them to clearly see the Plainfield if you get what I mean. But during a, the natural process of birth, they do not need a perfect view with the lights of God shining on your vagina for them to be able to deliver your baby. 

[00:17:36] Trish Ware: That's just the. That's convenience. I teach my students inside both of my birth courses. I have one for VBAC. Mama's called the VBAC lab and one for everyone else called calm, labor, confident birth. And I teach those students that we do not allow. You hear the words I'm using, not let allow, because you're the boss. 

[00:17:57] Trish Ware: You're the birth queen. We do not [00:18:00] allow them to do anything out of convenience. Or curiosity. So you need to be educated. You usually take some sort of birth class and I don't recommend a hospital provided one. And here's why they're going to teach you according to their policies. So if it's their policy that women pushing lithotomy guess what you are going to be. 

[00:18:20] Trish Ware: Told is the best way or led to believe. We don't want that. I want you guys to go against the policies. Be a rebel. Now, do we do it just Willy nilly at no, I tell my girls also there's no hard nose or hard yeses in labor. You have to be educated. You have to understand why would we need to use a forcep? 

[00:18:40] Trish Ware: Why would we need to use a vacuum? When is it appropriate? When is it necessary? Girl. I promise you if your baby's heart rate drops down in the forties and things are looking scary and you've tried position change. They've if you're on Pitocin and they turn it off and you've done all [00:19:00] that you can, you've got oxygen on, you got fluids flowing and the baby's heart, rate's not coming out. 

[00:19:05] Trish Ware: And they say to you, if I use a vacuum, I can have the baby out in two seconds. Hell yeah. Use the vacuum, do it right now. But. If you've been pushing for a while and your doctor's like you've been pushing a long time. This might take a little bit longer. You want me to go ahead and put a vacuum on now? I don't think most doctors are going to do that, but there are some, then that's out of convenience and not for you. 

[00:19:30] Trish Ware: So learn be educated. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is power, but only if you apply it. Okay. That's what happens when Trish gets off on a tangent? Sorry. Another risk factor is your first vaginal birth. Your road has not been paid. And someone has to pave it. So guess what? Maybe number one is paving the path for all the other babies, like a little bulldozer. 

[00:19:59] Trish Ware: So, [00:20:00] you know, you might tear with your first baby, but again, what did I say? Once you say it out loud. It's okay. It's not a big deal. I'm going to tell y'all right now I've had six babies unmedicated and I tour and had an episiotomy because my doctor was an a-hole with my first and I didn't feel either. 

[00:20:21] Trish Ware: When you're pushing and when the baby's head is applying pressure onto the pair of Niamh, it kind of numbs it. You only have so many pain receptors and you're already feeling it girl. So you're not going to feel the tear. You might feel a little bit of a tug, but it's not pain. Like you think it's going to be pain. 

[00:20:39] Trish Ware: I know when I say your vagina is going to tear, it sounds very painful, but I promise if you have an epidural, you won't know. But if you are unmedicated and you're worried about this, let it go. You're not going to know either. It's not going to affect you. I promise[00:21:00] 

[00:21:00] Trish Ware: those are some things that, uh, increase your chances that are sort of in your control and sort of not, but there's also some choices. That you can make during childbirth that will decrease your likelihood of tearing. One is going on medicated unmedicated patients are less likely to tear. This is not completely evidence-based, but there are a lot of people who believe that. 

[00:21:28] Trish Ware: And for my career, this is what I've seen. When you have an epidural, you're not able to listen to your body. Per se while you're pushing, whereas a unmedicated patient who isn't flat on her back, who's listening to her body. Who's moving, who's listening to the pain cues and the different things and getting into a position that works for her body is less likely to tear and less likely to tear more significantly. 

[00:21:54] Trish Ware: Most unmedicated patients can get. Guide the pushing based on what their [00:22:00] body's telling them. So if you're planning on an unmedicated delivery, this is another reason to go with it. If you're planning on an epidural girl, do not go in Medicaid because you're afraid of Terry. That's not the way you want to do it. 

[00:22:14] Trish Ware: If you choose unmedicated out of fear of other things, you're not going to have as good of an unmedicated birth as someone who really just wants to do it. So don't let anyone pressure you and don't let your fear drive. Another one that you can control is pushing position. I've already gotten off on a soapbox on this one. 

[00:22:35] Trish Ware: So I want you to start thinking about this now, no matter where you are in your pregnancy, this is a dialogue you want to start having with your provider early. If you go into your 20 week appointment and you say, Hey, provider, I want to talk to you about pushing positions because I don't want to push in lithotomy and they say, oh, well, that's how I push all my patients. 

[00:22:58] Trish Ware: It's safer. [00:23:00] It gives me more opportunity to help you. If something's wrong, we don't want something to happen to the baby. Then girl Hightail it out of there and find a better. If you're providers is something like, oh, we've got time. Let's talk about it later, girl, Hightail it out of there or say, no, I'd rather speak about it now because chances are, they're putting you off because they're going to put you into lithotomy or try. 

[00:23:22] Trish Ware: This is something you have control over. You can choose how you push. I had a student who was laboring unmedicated, and she starts getting the urge to push she's. The fetal ejection reflex is kicking in. This girl is pushing effectively. The provider comes in, puts her on her back, puts her feet in the stirrups and she pushes the baby out and gets a third degree tear. 

[00:23:48] Trish Ware: Now, would she have gotten one if she pushed in the position? We don't know, but chances are she wouldn't have, because she was pushing in the way her body was dictating. She was listening [00:24:00] to her body just like when we go poopoo, no one comes in and tells us to move around and get into a position that's convenient for them. 

[00:24:08] Trish Ware: We do it according to our body. You have right. You have rights. In fact, when you get admitted into the hospital, guess what? They're going to tell you all about your patient rights, but then they're going to act like you don't have them now all do does all of them? No, I don't want to act like everybody does. 

[00:24:30] Trish Ware: And most of the time your nurses are all for you having your rights and doing what you want. We have no problem. There are some old school doctors and there's some doctors that hold to tradition and they have a harder time. So mama, you have rights. You do not have to do everything that you are told. Now this is why you want to have a good relationship with your provider. 

[00:24:56] Trish Ware: This is why you want to trust your providers so that when they do. [00:25:00] Something, you can filter it through your education, the birth class that you took, and you can filter it through your instincts and make a wise decision together. But you have to trust your provider. You have to know that they want what's best for you because I hate to break it. 

[00:25:15] Trish Ware: Not all of them do. It's a business. And, you know, in their defense, we get used to doing things a certain way when we're in a bit. It's not that they're doing something to harm you, but they might just be doing what's better for them or what they're used to. And you know what, let's shake it up. The birth culture has to change. 

[00:25:34] Trish Ware: Women should not be told they have to push in a certain way. Women should not be told to suck it up. And let me put my fingers in your vagina. Check your cervix because I want to know what you're dilated to. No, there should be an indicator. There should be a need now be respectful when you're telling them your wishes, but don't be wishy washy. 

[00:25:53] Trish Ware: There are different positions, upright positions, which use gravity, which are the best for your birth and for your birth to [00:26:00] progress and to make your contractions more effective and to get baby out quicker. However, Upright position. Some of them increase your chances of tearing. Now me personally, as a labor nurse. 

[00:26:10] Trish Ware: And if I were your virtual doula or you're in one of my birth classes, I'm going to say girl, pick a position that works effectively. Don't worry about tearing. However squatting increases your chances of tearing. Just does. I love squatting. That's what I did with most of my babies. I only taught with my first laying on your back. 

[00:26:28] Trish Ware: Laying on your side or in lithotomy our horizontal positions, upright positions usually are less painful. They use gravity and they're better for the fetal wellbeing. However, they all mostly lead to vaginal Terri minus being on your hands and knees more blood flows to your Lavia when you're in an upright position. 

[00:26:49] Trish Ware: So it makes more sense, right? The tradition, no old school. Most doctors want to do it. Lithotomy position is the [00:27:00] highest chance of vaginal tearing. Like let's ask men when they are going poop to lay back on their back, but their feet in the air and his stirrups. None of them would do it. Right. Why were we asked to do this? 

[00:27:16] Trish Ware: Well, I hate to break it, but it goes all the way back to some pervert skiing in France. I believe that wanted women in that position. It was a position that had originally, oh goodness. What surgery was at? Gallbladder removal. I don't remember something. Um, I'm bunking that one up, but it was a surgical position. 

[00:27:36] Trish Ware: Cause that's what it is. And this guy decided it would be a great way to be able to see a clear shot of a vagina when women were giving birth. So he would stand behind a curtain and the women would give birth and little thought of me. So this perf could watch their vagina. I mean, I don't even know. Most of the partners and daddies do not even want to look down there. 

[00:27:58] Trish Ware: So I, I just don't get [00:28:00] it, but you know, there's always that one weirdo and that one weirdo affected the rest of our history of maternal care. We need to change. Let's stop it. And the only way it will change is if we all speak up and say, no, during my birth, my unmedicated birth, I use so many different positions. 

[00:28:20] Trish Ware: I would move around according to what my body was saying. And I would use positions to relieve pain. But when it was time for the baby to actually come out and I might have been pushing in squatted, I might've been pushing on my hands and knees or standing next to the bed or what have you. However, whatever I landed in when baby was ready to come out is how the baby came out. 

[00:28:41] Trish Ware: So you can do that. My midwife respected me. My midwife listened to me. It's your. You're the center of the birth, do it, how you want and don't feel guilty about it. You're not doing anything wrong to say no. Now another thing that can be done during birth to help you out to keep [00:29:00] you from tearing is supportive. 

[00:29:01] Trish Ware: Parents, them, they can use either hand. Gloved obviously, or they can use warm compresses on either side of the paraniem to kind of put pressure there to help when the baby comes out. Now that is dependent on your position because you're, if you're squatting, no, one's going to get down there and lay under you. 

[00:29:21] Trish Ware: So now what I've seen with some unmedicated mamas and for myself, I have just naturally put my hands down there to support the peritoneum when the baby's about to come. I haven't seen a lot of doctors like kind of swap mama's hands away. So if that happens, be like, listen, I can touch my own vagina, get your hands away from me. 

[00:29:42] Trish Ware: You're allowed to touch your vagina. It's no problem. This is not a sterile environment. This is a vagina. Another thing that I want to talk about, because I get asked this all the time is what about perinatal massage during delivery? I am a huge fan of it during [00:30:00] pregnancy, towards the ends of pregnancy. 

[00:30:01] Trish Ware: In fact, I teach my girls this, but. You do not want to do it during birth. This is something that can increase the likelihood of your vagina tearing when they massage it with oils or K Y jelly or whatever, it can increase the blood flow and increase the ability. And you might tear. So girl, don't let this happen. 

[00:30:29] Trish Ware: If they start doing this, you're going to have more bruising and more tiering speaker. A hands-off approach is much smarter when it comes to massage. Another choice that you can make is giving birth in water. So if your facility offers a tub birth, do it. I love it. Now, if you're getting epidural, you can't do that. 

[00:30:47] Trish Ware: But however, waterbirth have been known to be as effective as epidurals for pain. I almost got to have a water birth when I was pregnant with Gavin, that was the plan. They still did it at my [00:31:00] facility. I was in the tub almost to the end. And then I got a hair up my ass, which is called transition, the biggest hair up your ass. 

[00:31:07] Trish Ware: And I got out of the tub, despite the fact that everyone was like, you wanted to do it in the. I got out of the tub and went back to my room and gave birth. I was minutes away from having that baby. And he was my biggest baby. I could, could've had him in the tub and I hit transition and I did not have a prepared code. 

[00:31:26] Trish Ware: Which is why I have the coach class so they can know what to do because your coach has to coach you very differently during transition than any other time. During labor. If my coach would have been a little more firm and reminded me that I was incredible and I could do it and that I wanted to do it in the tub, I think I would have stayed in the tub, but I got, I got a little moody and got myself out. 

[00:31:49] Trish Ware: Another thing that you can sort of prevent is controlled pushing during the delivery of the baby set. That being said, this girl right here never did. [00:32:00] And, but I didn't tear with anyone, but my first. When the baby's head is coming out, it's best. If it goes at little increments and stretches the peritoneum as it moves out, however, and you'll understand me, come back and say, yup, Trish, I got ya on that one. 

[00:32:17] Trish Ware: When the baby's head is stretching out your paraniem. The last thing you're thinking about, oh, is let me do this nice and slow. So that I don't tear what you're thinking actually is get the freaking heck out of me right now. And how quick can I do it? So if you want to push the baby out nice and slow and steady, then you may not tear me personally. 

[00:32:40] Trish Ware: I don't give a darn about tearing. Come back and let me know how it goes for you. If you have an epidural, this is something you are more likely able to do without really knowing that you're doing it. So just listen to your body. If you have an epidural, listen to your nurse, she's going to coach you and guide you. 

[00:32:59] Trish Ware: I [00:33:00] don't want you, uh, holding your breath, counting to 10 or all of that. Just listen to your body. Do what you need to do. Even if you have an epidural, you can still listen to your body. I highly recommend. That you, like I said, take a birth course, take a class that teaches you all the positions that you can practice during pregnancy so that, you know, I can't tell you 90% of the women that I've delivered. 

[00:33:24] Trish Ware: I'm like, okay, you're complete. And baby's low. Let's start pushing. Did you take a class? Do you know pushing positions? No. And I'm there by the bed with my hand under what my patient referred to as my knee pit, holding my knee up in the air, showing them how to hold, how to push. And it's very awkward and it's not the best time that's conducive for learning. 

[00:33:47] Trish Ware: So practice while you're practice. The best thing that you guys can do. And I've said this over and over again is education, good nutrition, but let's also talk about some [00:34:00] exercises. 

[00:34:04] Trish Ware: This is my golden nugget of an exercise that I recommend to all my students do a deep squat. I'm not talking about like with a barbell, like a big old giant man I'm talking about. Like a yoga squat. So Google yoga, squat, I'll have a graphic in the show notes to show you what I'm talking about. When you do a deep squat during pregnancy, I want you to start, I don't care where you're at. 

[00:34:29] Trish Ware: As long as you don't have any kind of high risk for preterm labor or something, wackadoodle going on. If you do talk to your provider, always remember I'm not giving you medical advice. I'm just giving you educational advice. You always want to. But do a yoga squat. I want you to start right now, wherever you are. 

[00:34:47] Trish Ware: You're a week away or your eight weeks pregnant. This is like an all over wonderful thing to do to prepare yourself for birth. This is something my mama told me. My mom is from Kentucky. She's very [00:35:00] Southern. She's told me a lot of weird things, but this one she did tell me. And she happened to be completely right. 

[00:35:05] Trish Ware: She told me to do everything squatting. She told me to hand mop my floors with a rag and to watch TV, to read a book squatting. And even though I was very young, which is we'll talk about later, I actually listened to my mom on this and did it and pushed incredibly so deep squats. They prepare your, your paraniem. 

[00:35:26] Trish Ware: They prepare your pelvic floor muscles. They prepare your abdominal muscles. They prepare your thighs, all the things you need. For pushing Amber. So what I tell my girls inside my private community, we have a membership community for all moms, and then we have our birth classes for labor and birth education. 

[00:35:48] Trish Ware: And, uh, all my students are in my community. And then on top of that, it's open to the public for a very low price. You can try it out for a dollar for a month. We have all sorts of classes and also lots of [00:36:00] fun things planned inside of there. Tons of support. And what I tell my girls is challenge them. So when you start, it's going to be a little harder, build it up, but I want you to get to a point where you take something that you love doing. 

[00:36:14] Trish Ware: Like, let's say you love scrolling Instagram and looking at all my new content, hopefully, or you love watching some binge show on Netflix. I want you to get to a point where you only watch it or only scroll or only do that thing while in. Squat. That'll be your challenge and build up your time, build it up to about 30 minutes a couple of times a day. 

[00:36:36] Trish Ware: If you can, you'll be so pleasantly surprised. I always recommend leaning against something or being near something that you can fall back on because girl, your center of gravity is going to get worse and worse throughout your pregnancy. This is something that absolutely will help you prepare for birth. 

[00:36:54] Trish Ware: Get moving, go on walks. Do all the things. Now, another [00:37:00] thing that can help you is being confident and being prepared so that you won't be fearful or tense during birth tension leads to. Our, our fear leads to tension. Tension leads to tight muscles, tight muscles when you're tense and you're fearful, you're going to build up more black tic acids. 

[00:37:23] Trish Ware: So that also leads to more pain, but it also leads to worse tearing. So remember the calm, when you go into labor, have a shift in the mindset, re empower yourself, own your birth story. Tell yourself how powerful you are and how amazing you are. You can go into your birth without the sphere. I promise. 

[00:37:46] Trish Ware: You've got this, do not be afraid of tearing. 

[00:37:56] Trish Ware: Now we know what a vaginal dare is, [00:38:00] and you're probably a little bit anxious still and a little, uh, not too happy about your hoodie. Laterion I get that. The main deal again, of this episode, this entire podcast episode is that you have to confront those birth fears head on. Let go of the fear of daring. 

[00:38:18] Trish Ware: We fear the unknown. We fear a threat earth is not a threat. Taryn is not a threat. It's what your body is supposed to do. It's the amazing way your body will make room for your baby. The one you built right there inside of you and the one who has to come out. The one that you've probably been saying, get the heck out of. 

[00:38:42] Trish Ware: Part of that coming out is your vagina stretching and maybe stretching a little more to make room. So even though we went over some ways that you can prevent it and ways that you can or choices that you can make, [00:39:00] the real deal is this. You can't actually 100% prevent it. If your baby needs more room, girl, it's going to take. 

[00:39:09] Trish Ware: Just like, if your baby needs a little more nutrients while you're pregnant, they're going to take it. That's just the way it's supposed to happen. That's how our body works and it's pretty damn incredible. So get rid of this fear of. Another part of this before we end this episode, is that I know y'all are worried about your vagina's stretching at all, but your vagina is perfect. 

[00:39:35] Trish Ware: It's not going to say stretched out. It's going to go back. It was made to go back. Uh, but again, good nutrition, good movement. Good fluid intake, preset fluid intake. Drink that water girl. Dehydration is a biatch when you're breaking. You are in control of what you're in control of. Let go of the rest. 

[00:39:58] Trish Ware: Don't worry. [00:40:00] Hey mama. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the birth experience with labor nurse mama. If you loved it, as much as I did then head over to labor nurse mama.com forward slash tearing and check out all the information. And all the resources that I have together in one spot, just for you, including a free tearing guide that you can download right now. 

[00:40:29] Trish Ware: And let me know how much you love this episode by subscribing to my podcasts and writing a review. I would love to hear from you. Have a fantastic day and I'll see you next Friday.[00:41:00]