Trish shares her expert insights on the advantages of laboring at home as long as possible to reduce hospital interventions. She shares how to prepare for this through childbirth education, labor coping tools, and having an educated birth partner.

Listen in as Trish shares her top tips on navigating childbirth with confidence, emphasizing the importance of preparation, mindset, and laboring at home longer for a more positive birth experience. 

Trish introduces her three-part framework:

  • Gaining knowledge – take a birth class!
  • Cultivating a strong, supportive mindset.
  • Having a birth plan.

Trish offers practical advice on when to head to the hospital and the power of being well-prepared to ensure a less intervention-filled birth experience.

00:50 The Power of Mindset in Childbirth

02:08 Advocating for Yourself and Your Birth Choices

03:12 Why Staying Home Longer Can Lead to a Better Birth Experience

04:50 Mastering Your Mindset for Labor 

09:22 Essential Tools and Tips for Laboring at Home

16:36 The Importance of a Supportive Birth Partner

21:42 When to Head to the Hospital: Timing Your Arrival

25:56 Join Our Birth Classes for a Comprehensive Guide

26:53 A Special Offer for Aspiring Female Business Owners


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Next Steps with LNM:

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If you are ready to dive into a birth class and have your best and most powerful birth story, then Calm Labor Confident Birth or The VBAC Lab is your next step.

If you have a scheduled cesarean, take our Belly Birth Masterclass and own that experience.

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Remember, my advice is not medical advice. Always discuss what you learn with your team. See my Disclaimer here! Also, We make a small commission from some of the links (you don’t pay any more for using our links); however some of the recommendations, we do not earn anything; we love ’em and want you to know about them.


trish: [00:00:00] My name is Trish Ware and I am obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth and helping you to navigate with the practical and the magical seasons of this journey called motherhood. I'm an all day coffee sippin mama of seven. I've had the amazing privilege of delivering many babies. And my 15 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse and as a mama of seven. 

I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom of the show notes. So we're going to talk about laboring at home. 

I'm going to tell you guys my top secret for all birth and why my birth classes are [00:01:00] so heavy on mindset is that your mindset is everything when it comes to your birth. And for my moms who have had babies, who maybe their first birth didn't go the way that they really wanted it to go and they left there feeling like overwhelmed. 

This was me for my first birth and feeling like the birth happened to them and they weren't sure what happened. And, a lot of that goes back to your knowledge, But also your mindset because, this is why in my birth classes, I have a three part framework, which is working on the knowledge. 

I give you all the knowledge. My students usually say their nurses are like, you know, as much as a labor nurse. So I give you my 16 years of career knowledge birth for my own six babies. But then we work really heavy on your mindset because mindset Is everything and mindset has everything to do with what we're talking today. 

But there's a third part to my framework, which I think is equally as important because you can't have, you can't have a powerful or [00:02:00] empowered birth that you feel like really good about no matter the twists and turns if you don't have all three parts. And that third part is knowing how to speak up, knowing how to advocate for yourself. 

And I'm sure all of you guys. who are pregnant, who have had a baby, understand how important that is already. Because in, even in the beginning of your pregnancy, you might be at the doctor's office and find yourself like unwilling or not able, maybe even like frozen, wanting to speak up about what you want for your birth. 

But you just feel like maybe, who am I to say, Speak up. This is the provider. They went to school for it. They know more than I know. And if they're saying that's what I should do, then that's probably what I should do. Even though my instinct and my gut is saying opposite. So that begins at the beginning of your pregnancy. 

But here's a huge. pointer for you. And my students know this already, is that, that continues throughout your pregnancy. And it [00:03:00] also comes into role when it's time to go to the hospital, because a lot of providers are like, oh, you're water broke, head right in. Oh, you're GBS positive, head right in. Oh, you think you're in labor? 

Come on in. And what I would encourage you to do is really, you have to take a birth class. If you're winging your birth, I'm just going to tell you right now, biggest mistake you could ever make. And this is why I do what I do, because winging your birth ends up that you're one of 10. first time moms who ends up having a cesarean because that is the stats, right? 

One out of 10 of you will end up in the OR just for the diagnosis, failure to progress, which most of the time is BS, honestly. And so I don't want you guys to end up one out of 10 that ends up in the OR as failure to progress. That's why I want to keep you home longer. And there is science behind that. 

By being in a place where you feel safe. You feel honored and [00:04:00] protected, which is your home. Because no matter what, when you step foot into the hospital, in labor or not in labor at any time, you become a patient. And when you're having a baby, that can really mess with your mindset. 

And so that's why I really encourage my students to stay home as long as possible. And the majority of my students, a huge amount of my students get to the hospital at seven, eight centimeters, not because they're superheroes who can just deal with the pain, But because we equip them with the knowledge, the mindset, and the willingness to advocate for themselves and speak up. 

So when their doctors are like, come on in, they're like no, I've got it. I know when to come in. I'll be in. Or they might even, unless there's a problem, they might not even call their providers until they're heading into the hospital to avoid that conversation. Now, the very first thing I want to tell you about your mindset and being able to labor at home longer without freaking the freak out, and if [00:05:00] you've taken my really popular free class all about conquering your fear of the pain of labor, that's the secret. 

We have to lay down this fear of labor, and the way that you do that is by filling your brain with knowledge and working on your mindset. And I probably sound like a broken record. You have to be prepared. We're going to work a little bit on your mindset today because your mindset is everything when it comes to staying at home longer. 

And so I have to help you flip the script that you have in your brain about labor. The very first thing we're going to talk about right now is what you believe about the pain of labor. So if I asked my first time mamas or even my second time mamas who maybe didn't have a great experience, what would you say to them? 

your view of the pain of labor is. And I want you guys, if you're watching this right now, or you're [00:06:00] listening to it later, I want you to send us a a DM or comment on the live and tell me what do you think of when you think of the pain of labor? So a lot of times when we think of the pain of labor, we think of, yes, being tense, We think of this horrific thing that we have to just get through to get to the prize, right? 

The prize that my friend Tenetsu said. So we have to go through the pain of labor to get to the prize. But I want you guys right now to start reframing this. And this is what we do in our birth classes. We reframe the way that you look at your birth as something you are privileged to do, this incredible thing. 

It's not that you have to just get through it. If you take the word pain, start with the P. It's purposeful, it's anticipated, you know it's coming, it's intermittent, it comes and goes, and it's necessary. So [00:07:00] purposeful, anticipated, intermittent, necessary. So when you start looking at the pain of labor as something that you get to embrace instead of fight against, and you see it as this let's say you're working out in the gym and you're doing this really hard workout. 

And then your partner comes in and helps you lift the weights. That's the pain of labor. It's your partner coming alongside you to give you the best gift you've ever gotten. And if you can change your mindset about the way you look at the pain of labor before you go into the hospital. I guarantee that your experience will be different and you'll be able to labor at home longer. 

So you have to understand the stages of labor to be able to do that as well. So if you're not afraid of the pain of labor, it's okay. And you understand the stages of labor that combined allows you to stay at home because no matter how prepared you are, when you transition into the hospital, you're going to be presented with having to [00:08:00] lay in bed to get your IV started and get the monitors on you and do your admission process. 

And, you may have never been a patient before, and so you're going to have to work through that. And that's going to, that's going to jolt your mindset a little. That's why a lot of people are like, Oh my God, this didn't hurt as bad until I got to the hospital. Or even worse, you get to the hospital and your labor slows down or stops. 

And that is because of fear and anxiety. When adrenaline rushes through your system, it can actually stop your labor, which is why a lot of women, one out of 10, end up in the OR for cesarean. for failure to progress. What I want you guys to start thinking of right now, your biggest tool is knowledge. You have to know what's happening. 

I'm getting ready to go to Spain in a week and a half. Oh my gosh. And last year, those of you guys who have been hanging out with me, my students, you all know that I went to Italy last year. I normally have a spreadsheet. I normally have Everything planned out from the minute we step on the plane to the [00:09:00] minute we get back home. 

And last year, I botched it. I didn't plan. My phone didn't work. I didn't speak the language. It was a nightmare in some ways, okay? It was still a huge blessing. My trip to Italy was a huge blessing. Such a gift. But it was also a nightmare. And your birth can be a huge blessing and such a gift, but also a nightmare if you're not prepared. 

So the very first tool you have to be able to labor at home longer and not freak the freak out is a birth class. So I highly recommend you take mine, of course. Tool number one. birth class. Tool number two, laboring tools. You have to have coping tools to be able to stay at home. Okay? So you have to learn how to cope during the pain of labor. 

It's not like anything you've ever been before, but when you combine your knowledge and your tools with what your body already does, you are golden. golden golden. We talked about [00:10:00] this the other day. Go back and watch the lives because we talked about coping with the pain of labor. You have to have tools and you have to have knowledge and then you have to practice them, but you also have to be prepared with a plan. 

So that's three, your plan. Your plan has to include the different labor coping tools and positions. That's the other thing. So I'm going to show you guys my labor coping basket that I have, that I used for my own births. And how, except for one thing, because I don't have my massage gun in here. It's upstairs and I forgot to grab it. 

But a massage gun is incredible. But some of you guys know I tweaked my back and it was horrible. Anyway, the massage gun is a must, but so we've got our knowledge. Now we've learned our coping tools and we've learned our positions. If you understand by knowing what your body's doing, what position, what stage of labor you're in, you'll know which page to go to based on what's happening in your [00:11:00] body. 

Let's say you're in prodromal labor and you're at home and you're like, Oh my God, this, I don't think I've hit my contraction rule and I don't know if I should go to the hospital, but what do I do? So there are positions you can do to actually kick yourself out of prodromal labor. And if my girl Erin, one of my students is watching, she was in prodromal labor, kicked herself out of prodromal labor. 

She laughed that it was all she had to do was cook dinner. And she ended up having baby very quickly. Very quickly, baby number two, they come fast. So by knowing the right positions, you will be able to help. Let me see if I have, I don't have my pelvis down here. You'll be able to open your pelvis and move the baby into the right positions that you can help speed up your labor somewhat. 

You can help move it along in the way that it's supposed to progress. And you, if you're laboring at home and you're using the right positions and tools, you're going to help your natural endorphins, [00:12:00] which are like pain med, it's like IV narcotics flow, which is going to make you feel like the pain is not as bad as you thought it was going to be. 

And you're not even going to realize. How, you're not gonna not realize, but you're not going to perceive the stage of labor that maybe someone who did not take a birth class, who does not know labor pain coping tools, which we teach in our birth classes around 40 to 50 different types of tools from mindset to physical tools. 

If you don't. If you don't do any of the things to prepare, you're going to perceive the pain of labor as way worse than one of my mamas who we have prepared her and she's able to cope. She's going to stay home longer thinking this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. right? She's not going to be basing her decision on rushing to the hospital through fear because we don't want you to make any fear based decisions. 

That's where things can go super wrong. That's where you're going to say yes to interventions [00:13:00] that you don't necessarily need and you're going to stay at, you're going to like rush from the home to the hospital and end up accepting a cascade of interventions. So we want you to make mindset and knowledge based decisions, not fear. 

When you choose things out of fear during your birth, you will often regret that. So for laboring at home, I recommend a couple things. Let me grab my basket. Okay. Now, some of this won't make sense if you haven't taken a birth class. I have a huge basket. Actually, I'm going to sit my basket right there because it's too big for my lap. 

But I do recommend, I recommend that you guys get some kind of labor coping basket or a cart or something, but something that you can transition to the hospital as well. One of the things that I recommend for prodromal labor is we've got you can do the mile circuit, you can do some nipple stimulation to bump you out of [00:14:00] it. 

So I always put a breast pump in my labor coping. basket per se. In case your labor is stalling down some, you can do some nipple stimulation to get it going, but you don't want to do that willy nilly. You want to be educated on that. When you start prepping for laboring at home, you're going to create a space. 

I recommend a room that is like your go to comfortable space, okay, that you love. You're going to have a space. I always recommend you have a little fan. And this basket's going to go with you to the hospital as well. I have some counter pressure balls. Now, again, you need to learn how to use all these things. 

I'm just giving you a tip. I have some clary sage, which is An essential oil roller that helps with the pain. You want to stay hydrated, so you need a bottle. You can even have tennis balls for different use for different coping techniques. If you're doing any kind of nipple [00:15:00] stimulation, you can collect your cholesterol. 

I've got these are like gel packs that you can use cold or warm. Those can help. You can put them on the bottom of your abdomen to help with the pain. You also can have a a TENS unit as well for the pain. And then I also recommend that you have some healthy snacks. So I've got like my little Hakka snack jar here, which I am obsessed with. 

And then some honey sticks for energy. You can have some trail mix. Just think of things that are going to boost your energy, right? I also have a labor comb, and listen to me, do you not have to spend money on a fancy labor comb, get yourself a little dollar store labor comb, because that is based on gait control theory, the pain gait control theory, so if you can block one, you are going to perceive the pain of labor less, so don't, you don't need to go fancy on them. 

You've got some evening primrose oil in your basket, which I am helping you get prepped with. You know how to use that. So [00:16:00] you have your labor pain coping basket with your tools. And you also want to have a massage gun. And like I told you, mine's upstairs. So you're going to fill your labor tool bag. 

and you're going to prep your space. So prepping your space looks like maybe some twinkle lights or some dimming lights, maybe an diffuser for essential oils, something to play music. It even might look like binge watching some Netflix shows in early labor. I would have your birth ball, I would have your pregnancy pillow, and I would have a peanut ball in your laboring at home space. 

Now, Your partner also has to take your birth class with you, which, and also take a class specifically for your birth coach. Whoever your birth coach is going to be, your main person, needs to be as educated as you. And this is really important when you're trying to labor at home Because they need to know what to do based on watching you and following your [00:17:00] cues. 

Because you're not always going to be able to tell your birth coach what to do and when to do it. You're going to want them to know these things, right? Which is why we have Our birth coach class 

but let me tell you this right now. Your birth coach needs to take all the classes you take. They need to be on board with you so they can advocate for you, especially if you labor at home longer and you get to the hospital, your only job is going to be to labor, not trying to tell everybody what you want and don't want. 

That's where your partner steps in. Here's a clue. Your doula cannot accept or refuse anything for you, but your partner can. Okay. So hopefully you hear me on that one. Your partner can, your doula cannot. Your doula is there to support you. She should be also educating you. My doulas, a lot of doulas recommend my birth classes for their clients because I am, people say I'm crunchy with a side of medical. 

Me and doulas work well together because we see birth as a natural process, not a [00:18:00] medical experience. So I want, that's why I love doulas. That's why I coach doulas. You absolutely 100 percent need to have your partner educated to advocate and speak up for you. So if you know you don't want an IV and your partner, you get to the hospital and you've been laboring at home like I've taught you and you get to the hospital and they start to put an IV in and you're in full blown labor, you don't want to have to explain that to anyone. 

Your partner should be able to speak up for you, but if they don't know why you're doing it, they're going to fall for some of the coercion. So just trust me on this one. I promise you I would lay my life down on it. Your partner has to be as educated as you. So whatever you have to do to get them to watch your birth classes, bribe them, what have you, promise you'll have, lots of get ready for birth sex or something. 

I don't know. Whatever y'all want to do, you do you. Okay, so I want you guys 100 percent to [00:19:00] make a deal with me that you and your partner are not going to wing your birth. I cannot stress the importance. 

This is why my entire life is focused on empowering birth. This is why I do what I do. Yay. I see those hearts coming up. Yes. Safe words work too, as well. That's something we teach in the classes is how to create a plan with your partner. I'll never forget where I learned. how mama needs a word to communicate or a symbol or something that maybe she doesn't want to be touched or, so I always come up with that with my patients because you might like touch when you're not in labor and then in labor, all of a sudden you hate touch. 

So your partner needs to know how to navigate that as well and not take it personal because it's never personal in labor. It's all about you. It's all about my laboring mama. Okay. One thing I want to stress to you guys, 100%, we've talked about the important tools to labor at home. That's being educated through a birth class, you have to be educated. I [00:20:00] do not recommend a hospital birth class. They are going to infuse their education with policies and procedures. And birth ain't about that girl. Birth is natural. 

It is a natural process. And I don't say natural for unmedicated birth. I say unmedicated because all birth is natural, no matter how you choose to do it. So remember that you have to be educated. Because decisions will be made during your birth and you should be the one making them, no one else. You should be a part of that process. 

Now, it's really good to trust your providers, to trust your nurse is why, how I teach a whole section in my birth courses on communicating with your providers because you need to be able to trust them and communicate with them and advocate for what you want. Okay, so you're going to take a class, you're going to learn the tools so that you can navigate. 

When is the time to go to the hospital? So this is the last thing I want to teach you guys today. Now, when you go to the hospital does vary on what number baby. So if it's [00:21:00] your first baby, I'm going to give you this rule. Okay? When your contractions are less than four minutes apart, each contraction lasting 60 to 90 seconds for two hours. 

If you trust me on that one, you're going to get to the hospital a beautiful time. Now, if you're having a home birth, you don't have to go anywhere. You're going to get to the hospital at such a beautiful time in your labor that the chances of us, the hospital staff, slowing down your progression or halting your labor or taking you back to the or giving you a butt ton of interventions that you don't need are way down if you follow that labor rule. 

Now if it's your second baby, less than five minutes, each contraction lasting for one minute for one hour. Now with everyone, That can vary if you're GBS positive, if your water breaks, or what have you, and we have all of that in our reels, teaching that. If you go to TikTok, make sure you follow me, and then I [00:22:00] have a a guide on when to go to the hospital, when, and based on if I live far away, or if I'm GBS positive, or, all the different things. You don't have to rush to the hospital if your water breaks. I'm just telling you guys that. And I teach, I have a whole guide over on TikTok that you guys can look at when to do it. But the basic rule, first time mom, let 4 1 2. Second time mom or more, 5 1 1. And then you can head to the hospital. 

Now, of course, there are varying things and you also, no matter who you are, have to listen to your instincts. Remember way back in the beginning of this, I told you we don't make decisions based on fear. We make decisions based on knowledge, but you have to be educated. Again, you have to be educated to understand what's going on. 

And is this, I know Trish said, I head to the hospital when this, that or the other happens, but this is happening. And I have a feeling I'm farther in my labor than I think that is basing that on knowledge Transcribed by https: otter. ai Not on [00:23:00] fear, and that's super important. So I want you guys to hear me. 

The most powerful thing you can do for your birth to be less eventful and filled with interventions is to labor at home longer. But laboring at home longer requires education and preparation and a freaking stellar mindset. You can only get that through being, having knowledge. Knowledge is power. But remember, knowledge is only power if you apply it. 

So if you take a birth class and you get the knowledge, but then you freak the freak out during labor and you just rush into the hospital, then you're increasing your chances of more interventions. And ending up in the OR with a c section. This is just proven. This is not fluff I'm pulling out of the air. 

So I want you guys, if you have any questions, shoot me a DM. Me and my team are in there. You have to get past TrishBot, and she is a pain in the arse. I already know it, but we get hundreds and hundreds of DMs a day, so we have to have the bot because we can't [00:24:00] handle it physically and be moms ourselves, and we're all moms. 

Okay. Recap. First baby, contractions every four minutes or less lasting for 60 seconds for a two hour time frame. Yes. Good job. I love the recap. Perfect. I hope you joined the birth classes. Yes. Then you head to the hospital. Now, to be able to do that, again, you have to know positions. You have to know what to do to open the pelvic inlet. 

For more information visit www. FEMA. gov So if your baby is negative four, negative three, or negative two station, you're doing these. If your baby is plus one, zero plus one, here. So you have to know what to do as well, and you have to have your tool bag ready. Your physical tool bag, your mental tool bag. 

All of those. Yes, my service provider recommends induction at 41 weeks. I personally would push that some and give your body a little bit of time, but you have to do what you're comfortable with. So someone asked me, how am I going to know what station if I'm home? [00:25:00] So in the beginning, I was telling you guys, if you're educated and you understand the stages of labor and what you can also learn what those different things feel like, and you're going to be able to understand what stage of labor you're in and what stage of labor you're in usually correlates with what station the baby is at. 

You're welcome. I hope you joined us. All right. For my birth workers, for any of my, you guys, here's what I want to say before I get off here. If you are a female business owner, or you want to start a online business I have a coaching group for women who own businesses. 

Because it's an insane, incredibly amazing opportunity to take what you love, like labor and delivery, and turn it into an online business where you make impact. 

For those of you guys who are joining the classes, you're going to get 30 days free in the membership. When you get that. If you sign up and you don't see everything in your account, let me know, send me an email info at labor nurse mama. com. But when you get [00:26:00] that, you're also going to get access to over 70 workshops, my companion classes, my weekly zoom calls, all of those things. 

Cause we want to so empower you to have the birth that you want. So you don't leave your birth feeling like what the hell just happened to me. Instead, you leave your birth. Being like, hell yeah, I am a birth queen. Okay you guys, cause you are, you're a birth queen. Scream it out loud right now, make everyone in your house think you're crazy, but you are a birth queen. 

Alright you guys, have a great [00:27:00] day.