A postpartum doula knows the ups and downs of postpartum life inside and out, including the pain of delivery, sleep deprivation, and the emotional rollercoaster that is motherhood.

On this episode of The Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama, I chatted with Jodi Congdon from the Doula agency, From Hip to Heart, about hiring a postpartum doula.

Jodi explained exactly what a postpartum doula can do for you and your new baby. I was blown away by the services a postpartum doula provides, and I know you will be too.

More From Jodi Congdon

You can find Jodi hanging out with new moms and doulas in training over on her blog and IG:


Find Jodi on instagram @hiptoheart


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Next Steps with LNM:

If you are ready to invest in your pregnancy & postpartum journey, you are in the right place. I would love to take your hand and support you in your virtual labor room!

If you are ready to dive into a birth class and have your best and most powerful birth story, then Calm Labor Confident Birth or The VBAC Lab is your next step.

If you have a scheduled cesarean, take our Belly Birth Masterclass and own that experience.

If you are a newly pregnant mama or just had the babe, you want to join our private pregnancy and postpartum membership, Calm Mama Society.

Remember, my advice is not medical advice. Always discuss what you learn with your team. See my Disclaimer here! Also, We make a small commission from some of the links (you don’t pay any more for using our links); however some of the recommendations, we do not earn anything; we love ’em and want you to know about them.


Trish: [00:00:00] My name is Trish Ware and I am obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth and helping you to navigate with the practical and the magical seasons of this journey called motherhood. I'm an all day coffee sipping mama of seven. I've had the amazing privilege of delivering many babies in my 15 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse 

Jodi: and 

Trish: as a mama of seven. 

I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom. 

Jodi: of the show notes. 

Trish: Good morning everyone. I am so excited about today's topic. We are gonna be talking [00:01:00] about something that you might not know is valuable right now, but I hope by the end of this episode you are gonna realize exactly how valuable postpartum doulas are. So today I have Jodi from Hip2Heart and I'm gonna let you tell who you are 

Jodi: and what you do. 

All right, perfect. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here. So my name is Jodi Congdon and I own hip to heart which is a boston area birth and postpartum doula agency And i'm also a postpartum doula and lactation educator trainer for kappa And one of the things that I specialize in addition to those things. 

So those are my you know, kind of two main things. And then I, I have some business courses for doulas. So kind of, I teach the care piece in my doula trainings, and then I kind of take it a step further and make sure they have, you know, all of the knowledge for building their business. 

Trish: Oh, I love that so [00:02:00] much because I have several questions that I wrote down for you today because when I was having my babies, even Grayson, who's eight years old, I think that postpartum doulas weren't a thing. 

Well, maybe they were, but more so on the West Coast, but definitely not on the East Coast. I don't believe. And we're always so behind it seems when it comes to OB or maternity care or all of that. So, I just want to dive in, but before we do, I want to give everyone a heads up that both Jodi and I have children at home today, Jodi is having a snow day, and, and I have recently started homeschooling again, so Grayson is not understanding what classifies as an emergency versus, I need it right now type of thing, so if we're interrupted or you hear children in the background, hashtag. 

Mom, business owner, mom, yes. So I want to ask you first, because we are the birth [00:03:00] experience with labor nurse mama. And I used to always ask my guests before we get started about how their birth experience played into their business life. And I'm really interested and want to know if you were a doula before you became a mama, or how did that come about? 

Like how did your birth experiences play a part in your role of becoming 

Jodi: a doula? Yeah. So it played a huge part in it. So I was 25 when I got pregnant with my first. And went in and I felt, I was always like so maternal as a child. Like I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. Like that was my, you know, when I grow up, I'm going to be a mom and. 

Whatever else. So I just kind of went in with the attitude, like, what will happen will happen. Like, I feel so relaxed about it. Like, I'm not nervous and ended up having a 42 week induction. I had, like, the best pregnancy. I loved being pregnant. I enjoyed every second of it. But I didn't know what I didn't know. 

So, I went in for a 42 week induction, learning [00:04:00] later that my mother went to 43 weeks. So, My middle one was 43 weeks and my second was 42. So we're just long gestators. And I had like a two day Induction. I mean it was it was fine. It was beautiful. I Didn't know what I didn't know. Like I said, so I came out of it being like, okay Like I did not feel at all supported like it was it was fine. 

It was beautiful because I I I made it that experience, but you know, they kind of send you home and they're like, goodbye, good luck. And then I was like, okay, there's so much, there's so much left here to like trial and error. And it wasn't because I didn't, you know, do all the research first. That's not why I felt like I kind of was just like left to figure it out. 

My mother died when I was younger and I really kind of missed that piece of support. You know, I recognize that. But also like, I felt like there should be some expertise someone who comes to the house and someone who kind of just, you know, teaches you like, not even like the logistics, but some time management, I mean, just, [00:05:00] you know, some organization like that kind of stuff and how to get up and get out. 

And of course I needed some breastfeeding stuff. And after that, I went back to my corporate job and got laid off. And I was like, I never, ever, ever want to go back to work again. I felt like super pulled into. You know, being the person who comes to your house, and I didn't know what it was, and I, I didn't know there was a postpartum doula thing I went back to school for nursing, and realized very quickly I didn't want the clinical piece of it. 

I wanted the mental and emotional and relationship and social piece, and Googled and flew down to North Carolina, took a postpartum doula training and literally dove in head first and my oldest one is going to be 16 soon. So it like just propelled me. It like opened my eyes to something that was such a needed service, but I actually didn't know at the time just how needed it was. 

I really didn't know. About maternal mental health and you know, as the years went on and as I continued to be a postpartum doula I did some birth doula work. I [00:06:00] really, you know, kind of dove into maternal mental health and postpartum depression and anxiety. I took some lactation courses and childbirth ed courses and kind of really just opened, like, I opened this, you know, sort of one stop shop for new parents. 

Really focusing on postpartum because I realized just my lifestyle is not the on call lifestyle. I like to go to bed and know that I'm going to get a solid eight hours. Like I'm not, I don't like to be, you know, kind of the unknown. And with kids it's hard too, but I realized very quickly that here in, The United States, we do not have a village. 

We do not live five minutes away from our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters. Like we go to college and we don't come home. And all of my clients were, you know, had little to no support, whether their families were across the world, you know, just across the country. Or we have a lot of older clients and their parents are older and they're just not able to dive in and, and be that, you know, quote unquote doula. 

So we, I mean, especially now [00:07:00] post pandemic and we really didn't slow down that much. I mean, during the pandemic, there was a little bit of time where people were doing some virtual care, but we just, I mean, we kept going cause it's such a needed service and you know, through years of reflecting on my hospital birth and learning a ton my last two were born at home. 

So I had my second and third daughters, I have three daughters. The last two were incredible, incredible home births. Like, I, I mean, they couldn't have been any better, and, you know, I don't get to, I don't get to talk about it a lot, I don't get to tell my stories a lot, because I had three very different but beautiful experiences, they were so positive, so, I'm, like, I, I'm still empowered by them but, there's, There's not a lot of, there's not a lot of good stories. 


Trish: Oh my gosh. I love home birth. I'm so excited about that. We're going to have to get back together and talk about your home births. My labor and delivery nurse, her name was Laura Berry. So same for me. My son is 32, just so you know, and oh my gosh, [00:08:00] she changed the course of my life. I had EM when I was very, very young and it's just amazing. 

What we can do in the role, the role we play in these new mama's lives. So that's just a side note. All right. So can you tell everyone what is a postpartum doula and what type of services does a postpartum doula 

Jodi: provide? Of course. So a postpartum doula, really our, our focus is mothering the mother or, you know, parenting the parent. 

We really do focus on prioritizing the birth parents. So the mom you know, making sure she is or they are, you know, feeling good emotionally and mentally and physically healing. Because if they're not on their A game, you know, if they're unraveling, everything else is unraveling. So that is the most important part. 

And we really do focus on the big picture. So we focus on... Parents, other children, household stuff, obviously the baby but really, really, [00:09:00] it's, it's, it's mothering the mother, it's the big picture, a lot of postpartum doulas, you know, are really well versed in lactation. So it's a lot of breastfeeding you know, a lot of time management and organization and really, you know, for first time parents answering those questions in real time, the first, you know, everything pops up for the first time working on sleep and soothing and talking about. 

Swaddling and even nail cutting and cord care like the nitty gritty stuff But really setting them up for this like see as seamless as possible Transition from you know, just being people to being parents a new family and whether it's their first or it's their fifth We have just started in my business having our three piece. 

So we've had been now we're working with a family for the third time So it really is, you know, like the village. We, we come in and we are that village for people who don't have that. And it is really common in the United States for people not to have a village. You [00:10:00] know, a lot of people move a lot. 

They don't stay put like they used to. In a lot of other countries, you live in a very close proximity to your grandparents and your parents and your aunts and your sisters. And everyone jumps in immediately when you have a baby, whether it's, you know, Holding the baby or doing the cooking or doing the cleaning so you don't have to do anything and here we're like expected to be like super woman Jump back into things get everything, you know taken care of like we didn't even skip a beat and we don't get the time or the space for the the self care and like I said before, you know As a postpartum doula, we really prioritize that's important because when she's good, everything's good, when she's not good, nothing is going well. 

Trish: No, that's so true and I'm, I'm just thinking of several of my mamas in my pregnancy and postpartum membership called Mama Society. We just recently added a postpartum aspect to it and I hate to say it as an afterthought because you know, for me, my focus is [00:11:00] definitely birth, but it was a selfish thought because I love my girls. 

so much. We do weekly hangouts with our pregnant mamas and some of these girls have been hanging out with me from preconception. So that's a long time. In November, October, we added a postpartum hangout every other week and has become so precious to my entire team. It's so important. It's so important. So while you're talking, I'm picturing some of my mamas like Kayla and Quincy and Cassie and Emily. 

And I'm And I'm just picturing them and thinking, I wish I could hire a postpartum doula for all of them because they've had a really hard time and I would love to be able to bless them. I think it's such a gift. So now can you tell me what is the difference between a postpartum doula and a baby care person or is there even a 

Jodi: difference? 

Yep. Yep. So like [00:12:00] there, there are people who come in and they focus just on the baby. So a lot of times it's overnight care where they are letting you know, the parents sleep and they are solely focused on the baby. And even if it's daytime care they are really focused on the care of the baby, not necessarily about maternal mental health or breastfeeding. 

So they don't. Take a look at the big picture and how everything kind of fits together. And a lot of newborn care specialists are also postpartum doulas. So they call it like a hybrid. So they're trained in both. So they can be really versatile. They can either do newborn care, postpartum care, you know, a little bit of both. 

But it's just, it's a difference on the focus. So, a lot of, we get a lot of inquiries for like a quote unquote baby nurse which is a really outdated term because nobody's a nurse, so nobody can call themselves a nurse. So it's more for, you know, they, they want overnight newborn care or like a night nanny, they call it. 

And then I talked to them about what postpartum doulas do, and they didn't realize there was more to it than just the baby. So they're [00:13:00] pleasantly surprised and, you know, even more now looking to invest in a postpartum doula to help them transition with a new baby. 

Trish: I know you kind of touched base on the services that you provide and the courses you provide. 

But can you really quickly just tell us what type of training a postpartum doula has before she's licensed or is she certified? How does that work? 

Jodi: Yep. So after your postpartum doula training, so it's classroom hours you know, and if you're an RN, you get RN credit. You, you know, sit for however long and they turn to virtual during COVID. 

And now we're kind of back to a little bit of both. There is a certification process and i'm speaking on behalf of you know, the organization that I trained for kappa you it's a two you get two years to pursue this certification after so it is there's a lot of reading list you have to sit in on Breastfeeding courses. 

There is an exam. There is, you know, certain, you know, things like CPR. You have to do you have to [00:14:00] do some, you know, compare and contrasting for research papers. You have to work with families. So gain experience in the field. And then they have to. You know evaluate, you know what you're doing and then you also do a self evaluation You have to reach out to people in the community So other certified professionals and they have to give a reference for you as well So, you know, you can do it in a few months You can also take your time and do it in a few years We have a lot of people transitioning from full time work into doula work So they sort of take their time before they make that leap into full time doula work. 

But it it can be You know, it can be as short as a couple of months. So, you know, we have a lot of people who become postpartum doulas. They come from the nursing field, the nanny field social workers, people with early education majors, daycare centers. So this is not their first experience with new families and newborns. 

So it's more of just a formality. But then we have some people who come kind of right out of college and they know this is what they want to do. They don't have kids yet. And that's a really beautiful thing, too, because we know that they're not [00:15:00] coming from experience. They're coming from a place of passion. 

Oh, I love that. So it's a big variety of people that are moving into postpartum doulas, but it is such, postpartum doulas are in such high demand right now that You take the training and you literally can be busy. I mean, from the get go, there's no kind of get your feet wet period and you know, kind of figure yourself out, you're in. 

Which is incredible. And, and even now, I mean we have 40 doulas, birth and postpartum in my agency. And I'm still sometimes saying to, to a potential client that I don't have availability. It's wild. 

Trish: So, that leads into my next question, because one of the things I'm really passionate about for my people and my students is that they interview their providers, and we have a free list of questions that anyone can grab, and it's questions to ask your provider, because a lot of times, especially a first time mom, she doesn't know what it is she wants in her [00:16:00] provider. 

So, our list gives her some guiding questions. to find a provider that fits with her. So I'm wondering if you could give me some examples that a new mom or a. Mom to be would ask when she's interviewing a postpartum doula. 

Jodi: Sure and you, you hit it, you said it perfectly. You know, they don't know what they need and they don't know what to ask. 

So when I talk to potential clients, I absolutely lead the conversation. I have a whole list of questions that I... I ask them, and there are these open ended questions, so they can start to, like, tell their story, and then I'm, you know, furiously writing down notes so I can match them. But really asking just about, you know, your postpartum doula's experience why, you know, kind of what, what journey led them to be a postpartum doula, and I find that to be a really important question because there's, there's beauty in everyone's reason, but sometimes they find just a connection point. 

But, you know, I think there is, you know, some Some benefit to [00:17:00] getting references, so talking to other people that they've worked with and hearing their story, because then, you know, they, they hear someone else's experience with you, and they're like, I want that same experience. Like, I want that same outcome. 

And I think just getting to talk to someone, you get a good feel for their personality. And. You know, my whole team is, is based on people that I've trained. So I know everyone's quality of care. I know everyone's scope of practice, but kind of like dating it's personality match. This person is going to be next to you at like the most vulnerable, intimate time, whether it's birth or postpartum, when you could be at your highest high, but also at your lowest low you know, you're naked sometimes. 

I mean, it's, it's, it's, it is a very, very like. solid connection that you need to have with someone because you want it to be, you know, you want to have that when you're there next to you. One of the questions that I also think is really important is just how they learn. I always kind of weave that to the conversation. 

We have some type A people. We have some very laid back people. So that helps me match in terms of, [00:18:00] you know, our doulas. Like, is a list going to be something that's helpful for them? Do they not want a list? Is that overwhelming? Can they say, you know, whatever happens tomorrow I'll be fine with? So that really, the way they learn, kind of, you know, their personality, Two helps me figure out who's who's a best match because for me like my birth doula skills. 

I'm super warm super like motherly But my birth doula for my birth was like, you know boot camp I don't want anyone touching me like I needed someone the very opposite of me To, to, to, to make me feel like calm. So it's good to know, like, what, what someone, you know, how they would receive different, you know, scenarios, and then you pick based on that. 

Cause everyone's a different way. So 

Trish: for most people, they're going to be choosing between several postpartum doulas on their own. Because I would say you're a rare commodity, a doula agency where you help them choose a postpartum doula. One of the things we tell our students and [00:19:00] our members inside of Calm Mama Society is to meet with these postpartum doulas in person via Zoom, however, but get to know their personality. 

You have to have a personality connection, in my opinion, when you choose whether a birth doula or a postpartum doula, because like you said, they're In your space. So there it's your personal space. So buyer beware, make sure that you connect. So if there's something that your mom instinct or just something inside of you is like, I don't really know if I like this person, even though they're. 

Overqualified and I know they will benefit me. I would say don't choose them. They're probably not good for you. Just 

Jodi: don't do it Don't do it. Don't do it And I always say that I'll say you will you will know and you will come out saying you know what they seem like a Really nice person, but just not the person for me And for everyone out there who might think they're looking for a doula or trying to figure out if a doula is right for them Ask your friends [00:20:00] ask your co workers ask your your Facebook moms group, ask, you know, people like in any, you know, membership that you're in that has to do with like the perinatal period. 

Ask for recommendations, ask for someone else's experience because birth and postpartum care is not something that you necessarily like find in a magazine or Google. You want someone who has had an experience with this person, right? Cause it's so personal. So the best, I mean, all of, most of, you know, the doula businesses are built on word of mouth and that's for a reason. 

Because it is such, like you said, an intimate relationship, so you want someone else who's worked with them or just other people's experiences to help you, you know, find that perfect person. 

Trish: So that leads me into the next part of what I want to talk about because I am sure there's a lot of moms who are listening who are like, hell yeah, I would love to do this. 

This is amazing, but how much does it cost? So can you give us an idea financially what a postpartum doula would 

Jodi: cost? [00:21:00] So yes, it's, I mean, it really depends where you are. I'm in the Boston area. Things tend to be, you know, a little bit higher here. I would say, and this is a big swing anywhere between 30 and 60 an hour for, you know, a single baby. 

It depends on, you know, who you're choosing. It depends on, you know, the area you're in. It is most definitely an investment. It is starting to be covered by insurance at this point. It's more like you know, Medicaid or, you know, California's Medi Cal those type of insurances which aren't reimbursing what your doula is worth. 

So that is, you know, kind of leaving a lot of people in flux right now. Some of the private insurance. Agencies are are starting to, you know, present what their coverage is going to be but they're still at a point where they don't really understand the value of it. They don't understand the purpose of it. 

Also so it's, it's a, it's, it's a bit of time away from it being just like some generic coverage where everyone gets coverage because everyone knows what a doula is. So it is [00:22:00] definitely investment and investment. I will say that it's an investment that is It's worth it. I mean, there's no question to have that support and start your parenting off in a way that you feel confident, you feel empowered to make good decisions. 

You don't have to do it alone, even when we're not next to you. You can text, you can FaceTime. If you're having a breastfeeding issue, you take your phone and, you know, we FaceTime and I can see what the latch looks like. And it doesn't have to be this long formal, you know, four hour period where I'm with you. 

If you want to FaceTime for 20 minutes, we can do that. So it's this, this continuity of care that even when I'm not next to you, you have someone to reach out to. And we know that, you know, when you feel like you have no one, your anxiety is through the roof. When you, when you know you have someone to reach out to. 

You don't even necessarily have to reach out because you feel much more relaxed that you, you have someone, if you need it. But it definitely, it definitely is an investment and it's, it's worth it. If you think about, you know, what you're [00:23:00] spending money on in other places in your life that are, you know Maybe you could cut other places and focus here. 

It's definitely worth it because it sets you up for, for a lifetime. I mean, parenting is a long time. You know, my kids are 5, 6, and 15 and everyone's in a different place. And, you know, Trish, you said you have someone in their 30s. You're still parenting them. Like you're, they're not, they're not away. So you want to set yourself up for success and start on a really positive note. 

Because it's not just. The physical piece. It's not just the logistics of parenting. It's your emotional health, your mental health, and that stays with you. Your birth and postpartum experience stays with you for a long, long time. I love 

Trish: that because my next question was, does insurance cover postpartum doulas? 

We've talked about that. But one thing I was going to throw out there to my mamas is that I say this about your birth classes as well. When you're having a baby shower or you're thinking about the things you want, add a gift card option or somewhere that people can [00:24:00] add funds to help pay for your birth class, to help pay for your postpartum doula, to help. 

Pay for a doula. Meals are fantastic. Diapers are great. All the baby care items are great, but you are so important and it's important to invest into you. You have to have all those things, but your mental health, your future mental health is very important. 

Jodi: We have a lot of grandparents that are paying like they're, they don't necessarily know what they're, you know, Grandchildren need and they can't wait to be grandparents. 

And so they're purchasing hours of postpartum care Especially, you know parents that we're gonna travel and stay with them and you know, they ended up not So it's so great that you know, it's kind of like a registry you can register for like postpartum hours or packages or whatever, but Parents who, you know, can't be there, it's like the greatest thing ever because, you know, they know now that their children are gonna be taken care of and their grandchildren are taken [00:25:00] care of and they can kind of, you know, breathe a sigh of relief that even if they can't be there, they know someone is there to support and care for them. 


Trish: love this topic because I am so passionate about mom's self care. And like you said, if you invest in yourself and in your physical, your mental health, this is something we tell all of our girls in Calm Mama Society. And I love that you said it. Just having someone that you can talk to, someone who listens, someone who's there can make all the difference in the world. 

And that's exactly why we created our... pregnancy and postpartum membership community. We give them virtual support because if we have a student who has bought the birth class and also a member in our membership, she gets what we call our labor bat signal. And our labor bat signal is a direct like group chat with me and my team doulas and the mama from 37 weeks to six weeks postpartum. 

And when you said that, I was like, damn, we're on the right track because these moms can get in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And say things to us [00:26:00] that they might not necessarily say to the people in their real life. Right. And I like that about a postpartum doula as well because she's a safe space for mom. 

Jodi: Yes, and she's a safe, educated space and, and, you know, there are definitely, we see a lot of postpartum clients that have had traumatic births and need to talk about it and need someone to listen and need to work it out before they start parenting. 

And with the best of intentions, you know, your friends and your family don't always say the right things. And, you know, an everyday example is a cesarean birth, right? Trish and I could have had the same labor, same outcome, which was a cesarean birth. You know, she walks away and she's like, okay, like I'm a little sore, but I have a beautiful baby, and now I'm going home and I'm traumatized. 

I'm I, I am now home and experiencing trauma. We have the same experience, but trauma is so subject to the person experiencing it. And your doula is the person that really understands why you might hold on to that and [00:27:00] helps you work through it. Whereas the rest of your friends and family, with the best of intentions and the biggest hearts, might say, You know, why are you upset? 

You have a beautiful baby in your arms. Like, you know, we need to move on now. And, and, and, and like I said, it comes from a place of, of love, but it's not helpful and your doula gets it and your doula understands and even partners, a lot of partners, if they can't see something like physically see a problem, they don't. 

See a problem, but a lot of the postpartum time is hormonal and it's mental and emotional and it's not something you can see. So if your partner's not a doula or if they're not trained in like perinatal health, how on earth would we expect them? To be helpful because they don't see, you know, air quotes, see the problem. 

So your doula also bridges that with the partner and kind of helps them understand, you know, what's happening, the things they can't see, and it really facilitates some good communication. So 

Trish: that was the question I was trying to remember. How does a postpartum doula [00:28:00] support the partner or the father, the baby or the other parent? 

Jodi: We care for the whole family. We make sure that the partner, the dad, whoever it is. gets in there like ASAP, rolls their sleeves up, and really becomes an educated, confident parent. So then they're empowered to jump in at any time. And I mean, if you don't get that partner in from the get go, they become the person that holds the baby when the mom pees. 

It's so easy to get into that where the mom does it the fastest, the best, the easiest, so then she's always doing all the stuff, right? And we forget sometimes that, you know, the person who works outside of the house They're missing everything. Sometimes I'm like, Oh my God, you're so lucky. You get to go to work, like where it's quiet. 

You get to have a lunch break. You could probably nap if you wanted to. And I'm home all day with the baby, but they miss everything too. So. To get them really in parenting, like all the things, obviously except breastfeeding from the very beginning makes it really easy for them to jump in any [00:29:00] time. 

And, you know, we create different scenarios, you know, when the person who works outside of the house, when they come home at six o'clock, what does that look like? Who's responsible for baby? Who's making dinner? Who's relaxing? So, We make sure all of those things are set up for success, so there's no animosity. 

And because we've already, like, talked about those scenarios and laughed about them, when they actually happen, It's much lighter, you know, the mom feels like she can say, you know what I know you want to go out after work But tonight could you just come home and maybe can you go out next week? 

Whereas, you know, most of us are like, yeah Yeah, of course go out you do you and then we're home we're angry and they come home and it's like a knockdown drag outside so we make sure communication is like first and foremost very important. But that they're, that they feel like they're, you know, as equal as they can be. 

We know it's not ever 50 50, but as close to 50 as it can be that other parent, you know, is right in there. Yeah. 

Trish: I love that so much. And I was trying to remember the episode that I did. It was with a [00:30:00] therapist or a mom. Counselor and she was talking about learning to accept the imperfect help. And when you were talking, I was thinking about that when you were saying like, we do it best and we know how we can do it and we have a hard time, you know, asking for help because a lot of times as a mom, it's so hard to hand off tasks because of those things. 

And if I can say anything to you listening. new moms, young moms, whether your children are really young or you're about to have your first is to learn to accept imperfect help because the more you critique, the more you judge the people who are helping you or try to correct them. The less likely they are to help you and for your partner and for the other parent and this scenario, their confidence is being built. 

So it's okay if they do it a little different than you. It's okay if they do it slower. Take the help. Praise them. Don't critique them. You know, unless they're doing something unsafe with the 

Jodi: baby. Right, right. And that's hard. That's hard. I mean, you [00:31:00] know, you want things done the way you want them done and you know, you, you just have to like. 

Kind of put your blinders on and be like you do it the way you want to do it I'm appreciative of everything you do. But that takes a minute that especially if you're I mean a lot of women are like I got it. I got it and i'm the same way I had one of my students as a postpartum doula for my second one And I was like, you know, let me make you lunch and she's like like what she's like sit down I will make you lunch, but we just we want to get up and do like that's just our nature so you have to be comfortable we say And this is unrealistic if it's not your first baby. 

And you don't have like postpartum support. 5 days in your bed, 5 days on your bed, 5 days around your bed. And all of, all of those 15 days are letting people wait on you. You do not get yourself any water. You do not even think about doing anything except showering, going to the bathroom and taking care of the baby. 

Meals are done for you. I mean, and this isn't in an ideal world, but five days in your bed, five days on your bed, five days around your bed. 

Trish: Oh, I love that. All of those things. I love it. I'm writing it [00:32:00] down. 

Jodi: And if it's like you're, if it's not your first baby, we cut it down to three, but ideally we want, you know, at least two weeks. 

I mean, and that feels like not even enough time, but for you to be just, you are off limits for doing anything, but. The, the very, very, very necessity, shower, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, because no one's doing that for you. Everything else, anyone can do for you. 

Trish: I just remembered we had a workshop inside of the community. 

That's where we talked about accepting imperfect help. We do weekly workshops, expert workshops inside of our community. So that was what, mom brain all the way. So before we end this episode, that leads me into another question and something that we talk about a lot with our mamas inside of our membership is setting boundaries with the postpartum doulas help. 

Does that also include helping you navigate boundaries around visitors or people who [00:33:00] are coming over? Because one of the things we help our new mamas is that they're not coming to just sit around and hold the baby. Let them help. Yeah, so I'd love 

Jodi: to hear your thoughts on that. So we do a variety of like bouncer style, you know, help. 

If the grandparents are there, you know, we are able to kind of figure out with the mom ahead of time, you know, what are good tasks for them, you know. figure out the relationship. If it's a great one that, you know, grandma's going to be right there. If it's like not a great one, you know, other things they can do. 

But really making sure that, you know, our clients have the words to say, we want you to see the baby. We want to have you over. However, we are taking this time without visitors. A wonderful thing to do is have visiting hours Tuesday from five to seven, anyone who wants to come over, you can come over. 

Your doula is usually there that way. Mom's up. She showered. She's ready. I can provide snacks and drinks, but there's no chance someone's going to stop by when she's just about to take a nap or just about to do something with the baby. So [00:34:00] anyone can come over, you know, she's prepared, maybe she's wearing the baby. 

So people are, you know, keeping her company, but they're not necessarily like touching or wanting to hold. I mean, there's so many different ways we can do it depending on, you know, parents comfort level. But yeah, we definitely talk a lot about visitor boundaries and, you know, when someone has visitors. 

Drop a meal off. Do not bring a burp cloth. Do not bring, like, a onesie. We don't need any more of those things. What's helpful now is food or gift cards for food or, and your doula does a lot of meal prep and, or could do shopping or cooking and We can set up a meal train too if a lot of, you know, girlfriends want to set something up. 

We can help facilitate that. Okay, so I'm 

Trish: eight years postpartum with Grayson. Is it too late to have a postpartum doula? Because I would really love some meal prepping. Like, oh my gosh, please go grocery shopping for me. 

Jodi: I love it. No. Nope. So we would just call it like a, a life doula. If we could have like one thing that like, you know, is a solid in the house besides someone who cleans, someone who cooks, [00:35:00] just come over at like 3:00 PM do the meal prep, do the dinner. 

And I'll see you tomorrow. Like, I don't need help with anything else. I just want some, and I went to culinary school. Like, I love to cook. I love, but I love to do it on my own time. I don't want to do it every night for dinner. Yeah. 

Trish: So when you're hiring a doula, look for one that has a history that went to culinary school like Jodi. 

Jodi: Yes. I love, love cooking for clients. And it's so, we underestimate like the power of nourishment. I mean, that is so important. I mean, postpartum, yes, but in everyday life, yes, but Postpartum nourishment is, I mean, you are what you eat. So you eat well, you feel well. And we know the specific ingredients and, you know, different vegetables and vitamins and minerals and things that you need for breastfeeding and just for overall healing and care. 

We have, you know, quite a few clients who follow the Chinese confinement and they have a whole set of rules with food and food temperature and different things that help with, you know, different things, you know, different healing. So it's wild and it's wonderful and it's so [00:36:00] eyeopening. That food, you know, let food be thy medicine. 

I can't remember who said that someone did, but it's true. It's true. 

Trish: I love that because there's so much power in a meal and it's not just the food is nourishment. It's the whole experience. That's what I say about my coffee in the morning. Like it's not just the coffee. Honestly, it's the whole experience. 

It's the warm cup. I like a real cup. I don't like a fake cup. I'm a real cup type of girl. It's the whole experience. So I love that. And for those of you guys listening, meal trains are fantastic. There's a lot of meal services. I'll link to them in the show notes. If you're a grandparent or an aunt or an uncle, some family member who's listening and your family member is having a baby, this is a valuable way that you can support mom. 

Throw some money into a postpartum doula, into a meal train, into their birth classes. It's, it's a valuable resource or gift that you can provide besides helping to come over and hold the baby. If [00:37:00] you do go over to visit, do a load of laundry, clean the bathroom, restock her postpartum essentials kit, whatever, but don't just come over and sit and hold the baby. 

All right, Jodi, I am so excited about you coming here today. This episode's going to be so powerful, and for those of you guys listening I just, a little face just peeked around Jodi. I'm loving it. While we've been recording, I've seen her do the mom eyes, like, don't come in here. Don't talk. So let my listeners know where they can find you. 

I know you're in the Boston area, but let them know where they can find you online. 

Jodi: Yep, hiptoheart. com is my website and it's for parents and for professionals. So there's two parts to it. I'm hiptoheart on Instagram, hiptoheart on Facebook, everywhere. YouTube, hiptoheart. So you really can find me anywhere and it's pretty easy to remember. 

Trish: I love it. Thank you so much for being on 

Jodi: today. You are so welcome. Thank you for having me.[00:38:00] 

Trish: What a powerful episode about choosing your postpartum doula, how a postpartum doula can help you navigate those early days as a new mom. Hit subscribe, leave a review, and as always, I will see you again next Friday. Bye for now!