Being a labor and delivery nurse while pregnant can be both exciting and challenging.
On the one hand, you get to experience the amazing process of childbirth and witness the joy it brings to the families.
On the other hand, you know too much!
Join me and today's guest, Emily Boazman as we chat about her viral Tiktok birth video and her life in general.
“I've been married for 9 years, have 2 daughters and a son. I'm newly “crunchy” and more natural-minded, as a nurse the natural life choices are almost looked down upon.
My hubby and I met playing basketball, and we used to be in a toxic relationship and gave our lives to God before getting married.”
You can find more about Emily here:
Connect w/ Trish:
For more pregnancy & birth education, subscribe to The Birth Experience on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Next Steps with LNM:
If you are ready to invest in your pregnancy & postpartum journey, you are in the right place. I would love to take your hand and support you in your virtual labor room!
If you have a scheduled cesarean, take our Belly Birth Masterclass and own that experience.
If you are a newly pregnant mama or just had the babe, you want to join our private pregnancy and postpartum membership, Calm Mama Society.
Remember, my advice is not medical advice. Always discuss what you learn with your team. See my Disclaimer here! Also, We make a small commission from some of the links (you don’t pay any more for using our links); however some of the recommendations, we do not earn anything; we love ’em and want you to know about them.
Trish: [00:00:00] My name is Trish Ware and I am obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth and helping you to navigate with the practical and the magical seasons of this journey called motherhood. I'm an all day coffee sippin mama of seven. I've had the amazing privilege of delivering many babies. In my 15 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse and as a mama of seven, I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby.
Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom.
Hello, everyone. So I have a really fun guest and I'm so excited. We've been trying for a [00:01:00] while to get you on here. It's been a while. So my guest today, funny story. I was scrolling Instagram, which I never do, or maybe it was TikTok. It might've been Tik Tok, which I hardly ever do. I am not a social media consumer, which is funny.
And so I am, and I saw the funniest birth video. And we're going to talk about that in a minute. But today's guest is Emily Bozeman. Some of you guys may have seen her on Instagram or Tik Tok. And I'm super excited because she is also a fellow labor and delivery nurse. And a mama, and we're just going to chat about her experiences as both a labor nurse and a mama.
So welcome, Emily.
Emily: Hi, my first podcast. Very excited. Yeah. So
Trish: she is after this episode, no longer a podcast virgin. So I'm so excited. So tell me about your labor and [00:02:00] delivery career. Like, how did you end up a labor and delivery nurse?
Emily: So I became a nurse and I worked on med surge and my sister, she was a nurse three years before me and she just went right into labor and delivery, postpartum and then labor and delivery.
And so we were sister units, like we worked, not sister units, we worked right next to each other. So I would go visit. And I never wanted to do labor and delivery. It just wasn't my passion. When I would visit her, I realized I love how I feel over here. I just loved, and then all the nurses were so close.
And so a position came open and it was actually for days, which I'm a night nurse. And so I was like, Ooh, Oh, I don't think I can do it. I'm not a morning person. And then I just ended up doing it. And I loved it. And so then I stayed over there for the next 10
Trish: years. I love that so much. And I knew you were a night nurse.
Like I, I knew it.
Emily: Yeah. I'm not a morning gal at all.
Trish: Yeah. I am a night nurse at heart, but I did it for many [00:03:00] years. But like I was telling you, I did the majority of my career was travel. And for the first couple of years, I was only taking night shift travel assignments. And then all of a sudden I was like, Wait, I can do days if I want.
And when you're doing travel, and I did it like a travel vacation, like I homeschooled and the kids went with me. Oh yeah. And we pretty much spent all that I made on doing fun stuff. It's a lot more fun when you are not tired and crabby. Oh, I
Emily: wouldn't have been able to do that. Yeah. It was
Trish: hard. Yeah.
It was. But night shift, it's just such a better vibe. And so you don't deal with all the BS.
Emily: You feel Yes, and you feel closer in a way, I don't know, cause you're so tired, you like, have to fight to stay awake and talk and bond. That oxytocin
Trish: is flowing it,
Emily: right? Yes.
Trish: You feel so lovey. We used to have like the 3am like dance party and.
It was so much fun.
Emily: Trying to get over that hump.
Trish: Yeah. [00:04:00] And some of my closest friends from Labor and Delivery, from my years, from different assignments, all night shift nurses, except for a few here. I'm really close to a couple of girls here that are day shift because I only did day shift in Nashville.
Emily: So if I had my family, cause I did night shift before kids, I would have to do day shift nights. If night shift is very hard when you have kiddos, it's just, it's exhausting. Like I wouldn't be able to do full time night
Trish: shift. That's, I was just about to say the same thing. As a PRN nurse, a night shift is not bad because you can spread it out and honestly, what I did, I had a system.
And so let's say I was working Friday and Saturday night. I would take a nap on Friday, get up like when the kids did, get up, go to work, come home, sleep on Saturday. So I definitely had to have help on Saturday and then work Sunday and only sleep for a few hours Sunday morning. So I'd [00:05:00] flop back to my regular.
And then go.
Emily: Go to bed that night. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot easier to do PRN, like night shift PRN. Yeah. I
Trish: like it a lot. Okay. So you start as a labor and delivery nurse and it's funny that you said that it was never your thing because I truly believe either you are or you are not a labor and delivery nurse.
And I've had some friends that have switched from whatever it is that they did, whatever specialty, and they are like, Oh my God, I hate labor and delivery. I am not cut of this cloth. Okay.
Emily: Yes, I felt the opposite whenever I, because I know several people who were like, Oh, I just want to do postpartum only don't, I don't want to go near labor and delivery.
I love it. I don't know. It's very exciting because you get to see. The best day of people's lives. You get like a little inside window, and not many people get to see that, and [00:06:00] it's really cool. And I loved it. I really enjoyed it. Yeah.
Trish: I love it too. Like for sure. It's the only reason I went to school was to be a labor and delivery nurse, not a nurse, a labor and delivery nurse.
And I did med search for a year because that's what. Everyone I knew that I respected that did labor and delivery were like, yeah, do med surge and I hated every stinking bed sore Colonostomy poopoo all of it. I hated it. I don't mind mama poop for you guys who are thinking. Oh god poop. I don't mind Childbirth poop.
It's different. It's different. It's different. Sick poop is sick poop and it smells bad and it's not fun. And I don't like bed sores. It's
Emily: just a different vibe. Yeah. Yeah. I
Trish: do, I do love elderly people though. That part of it I loved because I worked night shift, of course, and I would sit and I would hear their stories and I loved that.
Emily: You visit them because they're lonely, a lot of them. I, yeah, I enjoyed that. But I definitely loved. The switch. Yeah, me too. [00:07:00] It's a happy unit. Labor and delivery is usually a happy unit. Until it's not. Until it's not. And then it can be the most devastating moments of your life as a nurse and as a patient.
Trish: Yeah. Okay. So you're a labor and delivery nurse. So you became one before you had kids? Yes. Okay. Because I wondered when I saw the video, and for those of you guys, I'm going to link to the video. I'm going to repost it on Labor Nurse Mama, and I am going to link to this video because all I can hear in my head is my
My butthole. Yeah.
Trish: But it's so true when you're unmedicated. Did you mean to be unmedicated?
Emily: No, I did not. With my first? Oh, I to. We're going
Trish: to rewind because I want to hear it. So obviously this is the birth experience with Labor Nurse Mama and we stinking love birth stories. I love birth stories myself.
Like I could eat them up all day long. So I want to hear [00:08:00] about your birth. So tell us about your first baby. What was your plan? Obviously not unmedicated. By the way,
Emily: so the video that you're talking about is my second
Trish: birth. I figured okay So tell us about your first though. I want to hear about your first.
Emily: my first I was working days at this time and I was 37 and four and I woke up on a Saturday morning and I was like, oh My cramps are different and I told my husband because we were remodeling our house and we weren't living there yet We were living with my parents and I was like Oh, I think I'm gonna have the baby.
We don't live in our house. Oh, no. And I, and he's don't worry. So I labored all day, kind of 9 minutes apart. And when I left, one of my, nurse friends checked me and I was a 3. So then I went home that night and I took a PM to go to, cause I was like, I got up early. I'm just going to sleep good tonight.
That was the stupidest thing I've ever done. So
Trish: now for those of you [00:09:00] guys listening, you can do that for prodromal labor. It's a good thing for prodromal labor, but real labor, you're just going to be extremely exhausted, but in labor.
Emily: Extremely. So I woke up at 11. Someone actually butt dialed me and woke me up.
And I realized, oh my gosh, I've been having contractions and they hurt. And
Trish: should we call that person out? Should we call whoever it was out right now?
Emily: She is so sweet. I don't even know if I've ever told her because I don't want to make her feel bad. But I was like... My sister, she's a labor and delivery nurse, she actually spent the night, and we slept in our old bedroom.
My husband worked on the house all day, so I was like, you know what, you sleep, I'm gonna labor at home, because I'm gonna go in and make sure this is real, so I'm gonna be at home, just until we know for sure, and I back labored all night long. Ayy. And it was brutal to lay down it would shoot the pain down my thighs to my knees, but I was so exhausted, That it was really hard to not be laying [00:10:00] down.
And I labored all night. My sister checked me in the morning and I was only a 5. And it was like pretty excruciating back labor. And so I was pretty devastated that I was only a 5. But, I still was like, I have to go to the hospital. Went to the hospital, they gave me a dose of fentanyl. And I literally felt, I didn't even feel my next cervical exam.
I loved that sentinel. I loved it so much.
Trish: And people either love it, and it works fantastic, or they just... Don't love it or it doesn't work. Yeah.
Emily: Yeah. I'm not, I can't take meds. Usually I get so sick. So I was terrified. I was able to take it and I couldn't wait for my next baby. So I could have sentinel again.
I was like, but that's
Trish: That's like me when I have surgery. I'm like, I love that feeling.
Emily: Yes. And I never get that feeling. Cause I always get so sick. So I was excited. They gave me an epidural. I went so numb. That I actually [00:11:00] didn't like how numb I was, but I slept, I went complete pretty quickly.
I asked if I could sleep for another hour because I didn't want to start pushing until, baby was lower. And then I started pushing, I pushed for 15 minutes and she was
Trish: out. Oh, see, I love it. Labor down. It's fantastic. But second time moms, it don't matter. You don't need to labor down. But first time mamas, I love laboring down so much.
That's what I coach my students. I think it's so stupid to start pushing when the baby's still high. Such a waste of your energy. You're going to
Emily: swell. Yes. Your energy. It's just, I always like when doctors would be like, Hey, go push that patient. I was like, I already talked to them and they said they want to wait and labor down because I was, really?
Trish: No, I would just oh, she's nine. I think she's nine and a half now. She still has a lip. Can't push it.
Trish: She did say laboring down anyway, but so have you seen all the [00:12:00] controversy about laboring down? I think it's such a BS of course, no one is going to delay pushing if baby is distressed or if there's a problem. This is only like best case scenario. Mom's good. She doesn't have an urge to push.
Baby's good. Let the baby passively move down.
Emily: Yes, and I used to the doctors, they're impatient and they need to get back to the, their doctor's office. So they're like, let's do this. But they would always say actually, it's proven that laboring down is, and I'm like, where, one, where are those studies?
And what is it? Because when you're pushing, that is a little bit traumatic too, it can be. Especially if baby's high and they're,
Trish: yeah, and it's the most stressful time for the baby is during the pushing stage. If we can allow the baby to passively move down, it's not using up their oxygen reserve.
It just makes so much sense.
Emily: It's so much easier. Yes. Yeah. I love
Trish: that you said, can you get the studies? Cause that's [00:13:00] another, so we teach our students a, like kind of a way to communicate with the providers that gets you somewhere because there's some ways that get you nowhere. They won't do anything and being wishy washy is for sure one of those ways you'll get nowhere, but we always say, okay all right.
So I know that's what you do. And you said you do it because studies have shown, can you go print those studies for me? And then I tell my students, unless it's we need to send you to the, to L and D now asked to take it home, tell them, you're going to read it over with your partner and you'll come back at your next appointment because your emotions won't be kicked up.
Yeah. And I tell them whatever they highlight, ignore, read the rest because they highlight what proves what they want, but they don't want you to read it. Yeah. You need the context. It's so stupid. Yeah. So I love that you said that. Okay. So then
Emily: I knew with my next baby, I wanted fentanyl. My epidural, and it was just going to be, super smooth.
I was 38 [00:14:00] and 4. I was already a little hurt because when you go into labor naturally on your first, that becomes the date that you are gonna go into labor on the next time. I was 37 and 4 with my first, and then now I'm 38 and, actually 38 and 5. I was already like, oh, yeah. I went in and I wasn't in labor.
Now this is where I've changed my views on things is cause I was like, yeah, just induce me, break my waters. Now I'm probably a little bit more on the, don't force it. Yeah. But I did force it in this case. So I went in and it was 3. 30. I was not in labor at all. I just had contractions here and there.
She broke my water. This is why
Trish: you looked so good. Yeah. Your hair and makeup looked so good. I got ready. Yes.
Emily: I fixed up. Now
Trish: that makes so much more sense to me because we were, I told you that Darby and I were watching it this morning and dying laughing. And meanwhile in my brain I was like, damn, but she looks good.[00:15:00]
Emily: That was, I checked that before I went. Yeah. And okay, my daughter was there. Crew, my first for my first was two and she was two years and four months. She was there, this was before all of the restrictions. So whenever, I have three sisters. We're all very close and labor days are like our most exciting days.
You can hear in the video, everyone's there.
Trish: I did hear a good group, but I didn't realize, I thought that was your nurses.
Emily: No, some of them, but it was my sisters, my mom, my husband, nice. And my daughter left right before I delivered my two, cause I, I ended up going so fast. So I walked down to the cafeteria with my mom.
My sisters hadn't gotten here yet and my water had just been broken and I realized Whoa, these contractions are like intense and so I go down to the cafeteria and then on my way back I'm having to stop and breathe through them and I'm like, whoo Okay, and I had wanted to do a little dance video before and so my sisters [00:16:00] got there They're trying to film me do this dance video and I was like, I had to stop and breathe.
I want to see it
Trish: Do you have a clip of this? I've got to
Emily: see. I do. I posted it. It literally was me pretending my stomach was a basketball and I was, like, bouncing it because I couldn't do anything else. I was in too much pain. And so I realized oh, I feel like I need to poop and I'm sitting on the toilet and I'm like, oh, like, all of a sudden it got real so fast and it was getting bizarrely real, I had back labor with crew, but this was just like all of a sudden I'm getting hit. It was like, it was just so intense. So I get in the bed and I asked for my dose of fentanyl. I'm so excited. It's going to work great. They give me fentanyl and I'm waiting for that first contraction. I'm high and I felt everything perfectly.
And I'm like, Oh no. Please, no. No. And it didn't work. It didn't cut, it didn't control the pain at all.
Trish: Because I think fentanyl can only do so [00:17:00] much because it doesn't take away the pain. It typically takes the edge off. So if the edge is A lot of pain and too high, the edge ain't going to make a difference.
Emily: Nope. And it didn't. And so then I was like, okay, I need an epidural. So I, they were like, okay, he's going to come. They started my bolus.
Trish: And no one checked you
Emily: at this point? They did check. Okay. They were going to, I think they had checked me and I was like maybe a five. Okay. So now I'm really laboring, which in the video.
I'm pushing at this point, so I'm a lot more controlled. I, on TikTok, have posted videos of me laboring. And because you're not pushing, pushing helps the pain so much. Because,
Trish: because you have power. You have something you can do.
Emily: Through your contraction. And during it, you're okay. In between contractions, you're okay.
I'm like, I can't even open my eyes. And my sister, who's a labor and delivery nurse is like trying to adjust my monitors. And she's Ooh, I don't think she's going to make it. I just don't get [00:18:00] that sense. And I'm like, Oh, I don't either. And my mom kept telling me to breathe. And I was like, don't, I need you to not say that.
Ever again, like I'm holding onto the rail and I'm like, I want to, I
Trish: want to, I want to watch this. This is okay. I got to repost this one too. Cause I love oh God, hold it. Holding onto the rail as a surefire universal sign baby is coming.
Emily: And I had turned on my side and I thought it would help me feel better.
And in this situation, cause usually back labor, when you're laboring on your back, it's the worst for me. I needed to be on my back and I got trapped on my side and I couldn't communicate. I need to be on my back again, and I couldn't get back on my back. I was just, I remember being like, oh my gosh, I'm in hell and I finally was able to get back on my back, and it helped so much.
I don't know why, because usually it's it isn't the best position, but it did help me in this situation.
Trish: But that's the whole point of what I do is that you listen to your body and figure out. So what [00:19:00] we put. Everybody's different. Yeah. We put in our birth plan with our students, I do not want to be on my back unless I choose to.
Yeah. Because I was the same way with all of mine. I ended up in a wonky back position at some point. And then it's
Emily: Yeah so then I'm asking for my epidural and then I said, I think it's time for another dose of fentanyl and my sister's I don't think it's time. And I'm like, go check. She's okay, I'll go out.
So she goes and asks and they tell her it's been 30 minutes. You have to wait an hour. And I was just writhing. It was so intense, I was needing to push a baby out. He comes in to do the epidural, and right before, they checked me. Because I'm about to have the baby, and I was only a 5.
And I'm like, this is bizarre. How is the pain this intense at a 5? So I sit up and he puts the epidural in and I lay back down and they [00:20:00] check me. And I'm a 10 , of course. So I was like whoa. Wait no, I need my epidural. So they didn't even turn it on. And then I thought they gave me the little bolus or whatever.
And so I'm thinking, 'cause with my first one, I go very numb with my epidurals and even with my third help I didn't, nothing. Not a hint of anything, like no numbness, no tingling, no nothing. And so I'm trying to think, I don't even know if they ever gave me a full bullet. I don't know. Cause honestly, it's just bizarre.
Like I should have felt something. And I have the video too, where she's I guess we don't need this. And then later when I'm pushing, I'm like, I don't want to get charged for that. Cause I didn't use it. Okay. And I'm pointing to the full bag of epidural fluid, and so I.
Delivered her. I felt everything. I was able to walk like right after. So it was a lot more convenient. It [00:21:00] was just a lot more brutally painful.
Trish: Because you weren't prepared.
Emily: I wasn't prepared at all. I didn't, I wasn't prepared at all. And I didn't realize how intense the pain would be. Yeah. I couldn't process it.
It happened so fast. So I delivered at 647 and I, so I started at 330 and I delivered at 647.
Trish: Yeah. I always tell my students that what they see in TV and movies like is not accurate unless It's an unmedicated patient who didn't mean to be. Yeah. Cause they are not prepared for it and as long as you're prepared, you will never look like what in the movies or on Emily's TikTok, but if you are prepared and you have a coping tools to pull out of your bag and you're ready and like mentally, this is coming, this is what it's going to be like, and here's how I'm going to cope and you want to.
That's what you want. You can handle
Emily: it. [00:22:00] I thought with my next one, I was like, you know what? I was able to do it. I can do it. Like I know what to expect. It was transitioning so fast. I think that was the most brutal part. So going from three essentially to a 10 in less than two hours, that from the five to the 10th point, it was.
I can't even explain how, it was the most insane experience. I was like, holy
Trish: cow. Yeah. I have very weird labor patterns, and I have given birth six times. My last few, I go from three to ten within minutes. They will check me, and I've been three, three, three, three, three, three, three, pushing baby out.
Oh, wow. I have no middle ground. Yeah, it's terrible. It's terrible, especially if I have a new nurse who's not listening to me. Yeah,
Emily: they don't believe in, because they're like there's no way you're a three.
Trish: Yeah. Yeah, never prepared. I go from three to baby on my [00:23:00] chest in Minutes,
Emily: which is awesome.
Sure word, but that was probably a few minutes are probably just the most So
Trish: my last because I was induced because I was on Heparin, I was on love and oxygen and so I agreed to be an induced and I was, I leaned up and I said, if I am still three centimeters, I am going to kill you. And that is what my daughter remembers the most from my birth is me telling the midwife I was going to kill her.
And sure as hell, I was three and I was like, I'm going to the bathroom. So I got up, went to the bathroom and then came back out, laid down and had him.
Emily: You went complete on the way to the bathroom or, which is scary too.
Trish: Yeah. Yeah. But I knew, like I knew in my brain, cause it had happened to me with my two previous births.
I was like, I know what's happening, [00:24:00] but I call it like wackadoodle land or like exorcist moments. When you hit transition, it doesn't matter really what you know. What matters then is what your coach knows because you are out of it. Like it is, it does not like. You go nuts. It's insane. You lose
Emily: touch with reality.
Trish: I, with my daughter who was straight OP, I literally, and I had a brand new nurse. She was a new nursery nurse who. Was training she wasn't training. She had just come off of training. So she's by herself It would have been better had she had someone training her with her But she I every sign of an OP baby ever and this is my daughter 17 Started labor and delivery when she, in her first year.
And so I was not a labor nurse yet. I was still a med surg nurse. And I didn't know, because it had never happened to me. But I kept telling her, something is not right. This is not right. And I hadn't, she was baby five. So [00:25:00] I had already had four unmedicated births. I knew it wasn't right. This is different.
No, and you know how OP babies, I call them poopalicious births because if mama's got anything inside, it's coming out. It's pushing, squeezing them out. Yeah, so she would not let me go to the bathroom. And I was like, in so much pain, I didn't just go. So she brought in a bedside and I had to my worst nightmare in the whole world.
And I, again, for you guys, I don't care if you poop, but I do care if I poop. Like my husband has to go, my husband has to go out of the bedroom, out of the upstairs, downstairs and outside. Yes! He's not going to hear me. See me nothing. They had me on a bedside doing big girl poo in a bedside toilet. Like I avoid that with my patients at all costs.
Cause it's humiliating.
Emily: I've never actually had a patient poop. It I'm like. I'll help you as best I can get to that
Trish: toilet. Yeah. She would not let me. And I kept [00:26:00] telling her, this is different. This is not right. But when I hit transition, I remember I first time in my, all of my labors that I asked for.
anything. And she was like, you're too far for us to do IV narcotics. Like it's too close to delivery. And then I was like I want to epidural. And so she went to go and he was in the OR and they felt that she needed him more than I did, which I felt like. I need him way more than she needs him.
Emily: surgery on.
Trish: Yes, exactly. And so I was so insanely angry that I remember looking around the room and I had just, I was going, I had already taken a position there. So I'd been there a couple of times in shadow, but I hadn't quite started, but I worked for the same hospital. And so I knew where they kept everything.
And I was like, just get me a scalpel. I will cut her out. Like she's coming out. [00:27:00] The guy is not going to be here in time, but it's okay because cutting my abdomen open with hours. Yeah.
Emily: Yeah. Then pushing her with the pain. Yeah.
Trish: It's the worst pain in the world. And for years afterwards, if my patients, if I knew, and when they're babies wonky, yeah, or any wonky malposition, but Opie, my knees would go weak because I have so much drama from that situation. She was just a little hellcat. She tells me she's 17 now and she said of course I didn't want to come out looking at your. But
Emily: that's great. Yeah.
Thank you. You did it.
Trish: You did it. But anyway, so you, on the other hand, all you were talking about was poop and butts.
Emily: Yep. I literally felt like my butt hole was ripping and they, so I was in labor room four, which is pretty far from the nurse's station. And they later, cause that night I was. [00:28:00] Sitting in the nurse's station chatting with them holding the baby and they were like, oh my gosh, the whole hospital heard my butthole She's in my butthole My rectums on the outside cuz that's what I felt.
It does. I swore she was pushing my butt out
Trish: Yeah, it's a bad feeling.
Emily: It was so
Trish: intense Yeah I love it so much. So tell me about baby number three. So
Emily: I thought this was gonna be a huge baby. The only thing is I always check myself because I'm a labor and delivery nurse and I have to know, and so I'm like checking myself.
With my first two by this point, 37 weeks, they were so low that. Honestly, it was so low. With this one, I was still... minus three and really high. My cervix was so posterior and I kept telling my family, this is really [00:29:00] weird. For some reason, the baby won't come down. The baby is not coming down. I just don't understand.
It was so different. So I kept Telling them like, and then feeling baby, cause I would always do Leopold's and I would tell them, I think they, the baby's spine is with my spine and like baby's looking straight up. I couldn't find the body. It was just, and I was always really good at Leopold's figuring out their little position and I couldn't on myself.
And then because we had the switch with our women's unit centers. I couldn't really just check on it. It was really hard to get an appointment. I called and I said, Hey, I need to schedule my, I was 36 weeks. I need to schedule an appointment for my GBS swab. And they said we can get you in at the end of July.
And I'm like, my date is due. The middle of July, like what? I'm 36 weeks right now. Yeah,
Trish: Why would I do that exactly? It was
Emily: just, it was really weird. So I ended up [00:30:00] contracting on July 4th. I was contracting like crazy, went in, I'm trying to think, I was still thick and high, but my contractions were super regular and I was pumping too.
I was pumping as well. And I was just so excited let's do this. Around 9 p. m., I think it was 9 My water broke and Baby was still so high. It was just so weird. When my water broke, that's when I realized oh I had a ton of fluid and I have a video of that on tik tok too because my sister was filming me sitting on the Toilet and you just hear It sounded like a waterfall for probably 20 minutes.
It was not really, but it was insane. I just flooded and flooded. I flooded the bed and I didn't go to the bathroom until well after I had already drained a ton of fluid just in case, [00:31:00] no cord prolapse risk at that point. But I had so much fluid and so I contracted Two to three minutes all night long and I ended up getting an epidural.
I really didn't want one, but I The person who was on call that night didn't have the best reputation and I had a friend who said he would come in it was 4th of July weekend and he has two little kids and so I couldn't call him at 4 in the morning So I was like so torn and I didn't want one, but I also was like, if I really need one, I was just I just did it and I regret doing that, but I also, I don't know, because it didn't work out great.
Anyway, I ended up getting an epidural and then I had anxiety from that point on because I couldn't feel my legs and I wasn't in enough pain at the point that I got it. To warrant not feeling my legs, so yeah severe anxiety for the rest of them for that entire night They moved me all [00:32:00] night long because baby was looking towards my right hip so facing Like its nose was pointing towards my right hip so I had amazing nurses and all night long they Would come in every 30 minutes to an hour and just reposition me in all these positions to get baby to come down.
And it was a lot of work because I couldn't help very much. My legs were so numb. And then in the morning, he came in, checked me and I made no change. I was a four and I was like, what? And so I'm like, we're going to keep doing this because
Trish: Set number three, they always throw you for a loop.
Emily: Like it was, I was like, what? And C section wasn't even in my mind. Like I'm a labor and delivery nurse. I work people through this all the time. But for me. I didn't even consider that. I did. And then he checked me a little while later, a few hours later, and I, he felt baby's face. Oh, God.
And I was like, no! [00:33:00] And I was still so high. And I was still a four and I was contracting every two to three minutes. So was
Trish: it a straight face presentation?
Emily: I asked him if he would allow me since I was really high still to try to get baby to reposition because it wasn't like baby was engaged in the pelvis.
And he said, yes. Yeah. So for, we looked up stuff, me and my day nurse and she helped me, which they had given me Benadryl. And that was also a big mistake, because for a normal person, they get sleepy, for me, I became comatose, and so she had to move me and Jake, and they would have to hold me in position, because I just was dead to the world physically.
It was bad, but they repositioned me constantly. I did all kinds of weird positions. I tried to pull baby up, everything. And then he came back in and a couple hours later and it was still face [00:34:00] presentation. So I don't think it was full face.
Trish: Yeah, no. Cause I feel like they would have taken you right to the OR, but she wasn't engaged.
Emily: engaged, or he. We found out he. So we ended up doing the c section and I was bleeding a lot too, like a ton. And so my family was really stressed because they're seeing all the bleeding. I wasn't that worried about it, but they were like hyperventilating because they're down there just seeing.
So much for some reason my I was bleeding a lot and but baby always looked fine So I ended up doing the c section and whenever he did it when he cut through which he did my incision really low My placenta had attached right there where he cut through so he and so I'm wondering if that's why Baby couldn't get in position.
His head was just knocking because it just never made sense to me. Yeah, where why? He was so high Why he never would come down or reposition at all. I just, and [00:35:00] I'd been telling my family, it's so weird. And so we think the clump of the placenta, just where it was at was affecting the way he was getting into position.
Trish: ability. Yeah. Interesting. It
Emily: was a really awful. I was so sick during the procedure, I was shaking so severely, I had muscle cramps for days. And then I ended up getting a spinal headache. I know, because they did a spinal as well. Because I could feel on my abdomen on the right side, so I knew my legs were numb and I couldn't feel contractions, but I would be able to feel that.
And I had such a severe headache in the hospital and I thought it was just from all the meds from no caffeine And then it just progressed and progressed when I got home. I couldn't stand I couldn't I would just weep and I was texting the CRNA and I'm like, hey I think I have a spinal headache and he's that's so insane It was such a smooth and he was amazing and so I ended up getting to the point where I'm like, I'm [00:36:00] dying like I think I'm having a brain aneurysm And so I went in and they had to do a blood patch, which was traumatic in itself, but the relief I felt instantly.
Trish: That's what I've heard. Yeah. I've heard that it's pretty instantaneous.
Emily: It was and I thought I told Jake because he thought I was having a he thought I was gonna die I thought I might too. I was like, I'm gonna have to leave him with the kids and I said if this doesn't work I am NOT leaving this hospital until I get a CET because something is wrong with my brain like so bad Yeah,
Trish: and then it worked Thank God.
I had a patient who got a spinal headache during labor from her Yeah, and it was like I've never had that happen before it was awful I felt so bad. I was almost crying with her. I felt so bad. It was insane. Do
Emily: you stress to push and then you're leaking that fluid?
Trish: This was before she even started pushing.
This was like within an hour or so of getting the epidural. I've never had that [00:37:00] in my entire career. It's the only time. Yeah, that's crazy. It
Emily: was awful. Knowing what I know now with how bad the pain is, I think I would have to have them. I don't know. It would be brutal.
Trish: It was terrible.
Yeah, it was terrible. So you, the nurse curse hit you. It
Emily: did. It sure did. All of us, we talked about it. Every nurse in our unit, I think has had to go for an emergent type C section. One of their babies. I didn't know that. It's crazy, right? Yeah. Now I do.
Trish: Yeah. Now you know. So I love a couple of things I wanted to ask you just because you have a unique perceptive or perception of being a labor nurse and a mama.
So what are some of the tips that you let's give them like. Two tips that you would say in hindsight for an unexpected unmedicated birth. What are two golden nuggets you would tell a [00:38:00] mom?
Emily: It will be over and you will have a baby in your arms. So just hang on to the fact that no matter how excruciating the pain is progress and you're gonna have a baby at the end of it.
So you just have to look at the And you can't stop, you've got to do it you just got to do it, but it's a reward like you've never experienced, a juicy little fat baby in your arms or a little bird like baby, whatever you have, it's a reward. And honestly, I, all of the tips I give my patients went out the window whenever I was experiencing it.
I can't even, I'm trying to think of what helped me.
Trish: Did you have any breathing techniques you tried or any coping techniques or were you just insanely out of it?
Emily: I tried to breathe. So I thought I was a lot more verbal [00:39:00] and insane, but when I watched back the videos, I was quiet and into myself and just like moaning.
I moaned a lot. I prayed. I was like, God, please please,
Trish: I love the moan though, cause that low guttural moan will help open up your cervix and everything. So that's good. That's a good coping tool.
Emily: I did a lot of the guttural moans. Yeah. I did.
Trish: So my tip to moms is I tell them to always have a plan B when it comes to their pain management plan because you and I both know epidurals are not guaranteed.
They, people think that their plan is as soon as I feel something, I'm getting epidural, but what if there's a line of mamas ahead of you? Or what if they have someone cut open in the OR and they don't want to come and prioritize you, happened to me, or they get a hot spot, or it doesn't work at all.
So I always tell my students I totally value and respect if your plan is medicated. That's fantastic. But you have to have some [00:40:00] unmedicated coping tools, so
Emily: you're screwed. Because if it doesn't work, you're going to be very
Trish: unprepared. And it's insane. I do think that the most insane thing is for a mom who's not prepared for unmedicated who goes unmedicated.
Yeah. It's not a good situation.
Emily: Yeah. And that was me. I will say though, the high I get from labor, I get a major high and so I am excited for the pain and everything like all of it used to excite me until the third baby. Now I'm a little bit terrified because I had the C section and I'm just scared more.
Trish: having another baby,
Emily: you think? Yes. I want two more and I've already talked to everybody about doing a V back and I do not want a needle near my spine because if you have a epidural spinal headache or I can't remember spinal leak. What's the term? I forgot.
Trish: Subdural. That's okay. That we don't need.
They won't know. So it's a spinal leak [00:41:00] is good.
Emily: Yeah, you'll, you're prone to having another one.
Trish: Yeah. And you don't want to ever go near that again.
Emily: Yeah. So I do want
Trish: more. So you know that we have the VBAC lab, right? One of my birth classes. I have two birth classes, calm labor, confident birth, which is for everyone.
And then the VBAC lab, which is for mamas like you who have had a cesarean. No, I
Emily: didn't know that.
Trish: Yeah, so we have, I have an incredible community of VBAC Mamas in, inside my birth classes.
Emily: Yeah. Oh, I'm going to have to do it.
Trish: Yeah, it's a great class. It's totally, everything about it is infused and geared towards VBAC Moms because a lot, now you're going to be a little different because you're not worried about standing up to providers, I'm sure.
But there's so many roadblocks that a lot of women face when they want to have a V back. There's just not only from providers, but family and friends who don't know anything. Oh. [00:42:00] Think they know everything and they want to act like it's like the most scary, like why are you even taking a chance? And 90% of women who have had a cesarean are candidates.
According to ACOG. Huh. And it's really insane why so many people get so much backlash about that decision. I don't
Emily: know. Especially when the people who are giving backlash are okay with the risks of inducing just for fun. Yeah. And it's look at what ends in a C section,
Trish: yeah. And according to studies, A repeat cesarean carries a lot more risks if you are a safe candidate for a VBAC.
Now if you're not a safe candidate, obviously you've got to factor that in, but for someone who is a candidate, which again, 90% of moms who've had a cesarean are, then you, the safer route is to try for a VBAC. So we would love to have you come hang out with us. I would. We have some incredible VBAC [00:43:00] mamas.
Emily: Yeah, cause that's my plan I want to so bad, and so I'm gonna, I didn't know that's awesome.
Trish: Yeah it was so nice to have you here today, and thank you so much for coming on and sharing.
Emily: It was fun! I've never been on a podcast,
Trish: I loved it. You are no longer a podcast virgin. It's done.
Was it, was that good for you?
Emily: Yeah, it was really nice. I really, thank you. Awesome.
Trish: It, tell everyone where they can find you.
Emily: So just Emily Bozeman is my, on TikTok, on Instagram. I used to have a blog. But I'm not a good blogger, so it's gone. And that's pretty much. You're not a faithful blogger.
And then I do, did homeschool stuff on YouTube, which I haven't been doing since I got pregnant. I had hyperemesis gravidarum. We need to touch on that one day. Yeah. And so I stopped all of that, but mainly Instagram and TikTok, Emily Bozeman.
Trish: Baby number three just came out of nowhere and took you [00:44:00] down.
Emily: Yeah, he beat me up. He really. Yeah. He really.
Trish: Yeah. Oh gosh. I can't imagine. Yeah, we definitely need to do an episode on that because, oh gosh, I just feel so sorry for mamas who have to go through that.
Emily: It was crazy. It's terrible. It gave me all these experiences. Thank you so much for having me.
Trish: Thank you so much for coming and I will link to Emily's information and watch out for these videos because now I'm going to go stalk you and repost some of these videos because there's just nothing like
Emily: real birth.
I have them all. Yes. Yes.
Trish: I love it. Thank you so much for today.
Emily: Thank you.
Trish: Wow, I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed listening to Emily and all of her birth antics and her role as a labor and delivery nurse. Okay, Mama, hit subscribe, and as always, I will see you again next Friday. Bye for now![00:45:00]