Top 10 birth fears and How to overcome them is our topic today!

I am a huge fan of tackling fear by the …you know, and throwing it out.

Here's What I am talking about today:

⭐️ The unknowns of birth. This is such a common fear.

⭐️ Tearing (I mean, who wants their vagina to tear? No one. Read this article now) LINK TO

⭐️ Pooping during birth is another top fear of many women, but it is one that I love to chat about. The truth is this: you don't need to worry!

⭐️ The Fear of ending up having a cesarean (c-section) is a fear of many mamas. So to this I say EDUCATION and taking a birth class, like ours!!

⭐️ Not getting my epidural in time

⭐️ The birth plan going awry or not having the birth I want

⭐️Not being listened to/communication

⭐️Not being able to handle the pain


⭐️Losing control

⭐️Something happening to baby or me

What's your top birth fear? Is it the one we talked about?


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10 birth fears ig live 


Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom of the show notes. 

birth [:

We're gonna talk about the top 10 ones that we hear in labor, nurse Mama inside of our membership, and here on the platform. So you're going to take it. Release it. Get rid of it. So we're gonna start with the fear. Of the unknown. So if that's your fear, if you're like, oh my God, I'm so afraid of all the things I don't know about, give me an emoji. 

fears, like all the things I [:

That is probably the top most. Common thing that I hear, and I wanted to read some of the things that we hear. So we dropped a question that we asked some of the mamas in our fearless birth experience, and this is what one of the moms said. Let's see if I can read it. She said, I think women. Mostly myself are afraid because of the unknowns. 

abor the way. I want. It's a [:

Another mama said there's so many crazy stories around us and. All of these things are unknown to me, and it all boils down to my fears. I keep hearing birthing stories that are super painful and how moms are choosing this and that, but it all gets out of control. So the most common thing about birth that I hear is the unknown. 

if you have been like, oh my [:

I want you to stop right now and give yourself a little bit of credit because you are in the right place. You're here for a reason, and you are learning. You're taking a step towards learning about those unknowns. Education is the number one thing you can do. So I want you to picture your birth experience, like you're going to a foreign country, right? 

So I just went to Italy. This is perfect timing. Perfect timing. So I just saw Taylor, my one of my team doulas, she's our community manager and our membership. She will laugh about this because I just went to Italy and it was a hot mess in certain ways because I do not speak Italian. So imagine if you will, the labor room, the birth room is Italy, or it's a foreign country and you don't speak the language well, what do you need? 

oogle Translate. You have to [:

Options. And if you've taken any of my classes, I say this all the time, you don't have any option or if you don't know your options, you don't have any. So to, to tackle this fear of the unknowns, you have to educate yourself. You have to know the foreign country, a k a birth that you're entering. 

You have to understand the language. You have to know about the interventions you have to. Educate yourself. Do not stick your head in the sand. Do not think someone else is gonna do it all for you. That's a huge mistake. Do not think that your provider is gonna make all the decisions for you? Actually you can think that cuz they will. 

hey like to do it. They like [:

And in fact, this is episode number one on the birth experience of Labor Nurse Mama, my podcast tearing. How many of you guys are afraid of tearing? The fear of tearing is. When we think of childbirth, I think we all get a little bit shaky and a little fearful when we think about our lady bits tearing. 

tter is after you get on the [:

Hemorrhoids are the devil. Hemorrhoids are the worst thing that ever was created. Like why did hemorrhoids come about? Hemorrhoids are the worst thing in the world if you've had hemorrhoids and you know what I mean? Hemorrhoids are horrible. They are 1 million times worse than tearing unless you have a third or fourth degree. 

g, it's common. But I'm here [:

As far as tearing though, let me give you a couple practical tips. You want to prevent tearing to the degree that you can because you really can't do any you know everything but you want to eat a healthy diet, increase your fluids, do some pelvic floor training, go see a pelvic floor specialist. 

ou. Take your hand, throw it [:

It's gone. All right, the next one. Now this one is a hard one for me because I am extremely phobic when it comes to this one. But the next fear that a lot of my mamas deal with is the. Fear of pooping during labor. So if you have this fear, let me know. So the fear of pooping is one that I hear a lot. So when it comes to pooping and labor, number one, I'm just gonna get this outta here. 

We don't care. Your labor nurses do not care. Your midwife, your provider, we don't care. It is if I always say, if you have a nurse Ninja, you won't know. We get rid of it, we swipe it. It's gone out of the way. No one knows. I try to get rid of it before your partner even knows it happened. Most of the time, if you have an epidural, you're not gonna know it happened. 

e spray, I spray on it. That [:

And you don't even know it happened. No one smells it. No one knows you don't care. But if you have a nurse ninja, she's gonna get rid of it and you won't know it happens. As far as pooping goes, if you have poop in there, if you have anything in there, it's gonna come out. Now, if you go into labor spontaneously, you are going to naturally taper down what you're eating. 

So the big controversy, the big talk in the town right now is whether or not you should be allowed to eat while you're in labor. My personal feeling is you should be able to. Be able to do whatever you wanna do in labor. If it's safe. Eating during labor is safe. However, here's the caveat, if you're in spontaneous labor, if you've gone into labor on your own, your body and you are gonna tell you what to do. 

with a marathon. If you are [:

So women in labor are going to listen to their body. So no one needs to tell us not to eat a greasy burger when you're about to deliver. So we should be able to dictate to ourselves because we're smart enough to know what we should and shouldn't eat. So back to pooping and labor. When you're in labor and you go into spontaneous labor, one of the signs of labor that labor's coming is your digestive system starts to clean itself out. 

is decreased. Now, if you're [:

When you're induced, you're not gonna have that natural taper. So you're going to eat up until labor and then you might have a higher chance of pooping during labor. But again, we do not care. Do not worry about it. It's okay. I want you to let that fear. So take your pooping fear, pull it out of you, throw it in the trash. 

I'm all about like visual signs. Okay? The next one that I hear a lot is a fear of having a C-section. Now for my v a mamas, this you've experienced the reality of this fear because you've had a C-section. So for a lot of you guys, this fear. Maybe this fear is having another C-section, or maybe your fear is having a C-section, especially one that's not necessary. 

mbers will say to me, Trish, [:

Have time to think, have time to wait. If you have time to wait, then you have time to process. Ask your provider for alternatives. What if we do this? What if we try that? If your provider gives you time and agrees to time to try things, Then you try those things. Try to work out with your provider. Now, if your team comes running in, you know your nurse is throwing a scrub cap on throwing her shoes on, the team is rushing around and they are wanting to rush you to the or. 

clearly telling you there's [:

We're gonna start out the week with teaching you guys how to clearly communicate and how to read your providers, how to listen to your providers and how to read. The room so that okay, this is a situation where I need to be really keyed in. And we're gonna talk about creating your birth plan. 

We're gonna talk about presenting your birth plan, who needs it, and we're gonna talk about all the myths and all the people who say, you don't need a birth plan, they're useless. Why do one, they don't follow 'em. We're gonna talk about all of that during my fearless birth experience, which is coming in a week and a half. 

key to C-sections, again is [:

Then we're not just gonna go straight to C-sections. A C-section is like an end result intervention, right? Hopefully it should be. Now, there are some providers that are just C-section happy, but that's a whole nother. Topic. So when it comes to a C-section, a lot of times you can trace it back to a bad decision here, like way back in the timeline. 

event it from happening with [:

Because choosing to be induced when your cervix is not favorable for an induction might. End you up, you might end up in the OR for an a cesarean. So the key to not having an unnecessary C-section is really going back in the timeline and being educated and being able to say no to inductions, to interventions, to decisions. 

Remember I said I said that you, if you don't know your options, you don't have any. So we definitely want to know and understand all the key pivotal points in decision making throughout your pregnancy and throughout your birth journey. You need to be in charge. You need to be the driver. So I want you to take that fear of ending up in a C-section and say, hell no, I'm in charge. 

I'm driving the ship and I'm [:

And I thought that was so powerful. Because our birth culture, our current birth culture is just a line of people headed to the OR and we gotta break that line up. We gotta say no, and it has to go all the way back to those early decisions. Okay? Taking the fear of C-section, throwing it in the trash can. 

get my epidural? So if this [:

Number one, let me talk to my first time mamas, because most of the time this is usually an unfounded fear for my first time moms, because you usually get to the hospital. Way sooner than I want you to get there. And my doulas as well, we want you to get there a little bit later than you typically get there. 

Now, I'm not knocking you because if you get there sooner and that's what you need for your peace of mind, that's fine, but you are gonna get there probably soon enough. Usually doesn't happen too late. There's a good time to get to the hospital. There's not a perfect time for getting an epidural. So everybody asks like, when should I get my epidural? 

to get to the hospital and a [:

On the way in the door, they can alert the anesthesiologist to get ready to get your stuff going, draw your blood, and everybody can be ready to get your epidural going by the time you are ready for it. So my first time Mama rule is that your contractions are less than four minutes apart. Each contraction lasting for a minute or more for two hours. 

Okay? So if you hit that rule, go to the hospital, ask for your epidural and triage. By the time you get to the room, get your epidural, you're good to go. Now, my second time moms, for you guys, there's more of a likelihood that you might get to the hospital and go a little quicker and not get your epidural in time. 

ead set on getting epidural, [:

So if you get to the hospital and your labor's going so fast, which second time, second births usually go pretty fast, you might find out that it wasn't as bad. To go un medicated, but if your plan is to get a epidural, then I would say to go to the hospital when your contractions are less than five minutes. 

o come out with a first time [:

Once you're complete, that baby's gonna come out with a with a little bit of a cough. So it's a little bit iffy with that. But a first time mom they'll go pretty late. So chances of you missing a window of getting an epidural is pretty slim, although it does happen now. Back in the day, they used to cut it off at seven centimeters. 

For a first time mom and a second time mom, or someone like me, it could be like five or six centimeters, but not getting your epidural in time for my first time moms. Pull that fear out. Throw it in the trash cuz it's probably not gonna happen. Okay. The other one is your birth plan not going the way you want or not having the birth that you want. 

idea of your birth and then [:

This is one of the number one reasons that we call a birth plan your birth map, and I want you to picture your birth plan as, remember I said that your birth is like going to a foreign land. So picture your birth plan as a birth map. Stop. Stop calling it a plan. It's your map. Your birth is the destination. 

This is the exotic, like foreign country that you're going to. The baby is like the destination. You're going to this foreign country and you've got a map to get there. If you were going to this amazing foreign destination and you started out on the journey, let's say you're leaving and your Uber cancels, you're not gonna just be like screw it. 

I'm done. You would call [:

So I want you to forget that this is just a one-way fits all. This is a fluid map that you're gonna learn, so that you can adjust with it. It's no longer just a one-way fits all. Okay? So we're gonna let that fear go. Get out of it. All right. The other one is not being listened to. Not having, being, the communication that you're not being honored that you aren't a part of the decision making. 

g you can do about not being [:

You have so many ways in which that you can find your voice and learn how to communicate. You also have to be able to Have the courage. We a lot of times want to please, we wanna be people pleasers, especially with our providers. And one of the things my girls have talked to me inside of my membership is they want their nurses they don't wanna be that patient. 

They want their nurses to like them. They don't want their nurses to go out to the station and talk bad about them. So I want you to let that go though, because this is your birth. This is your experience. You don't need to worry if everyone likes you or they're talking good about you. That does not matter. 

What matters is what's [:

So that's one of the ways we empower our students is teaching them, How to express their desires effectively, how to ask good questions when to step back and listen, how to not react in emotions and to take time and wait. There's so much power in stopping and listening. So all of those things can really help you with that fear of not being listened to and how to communicate more powerfully. 

talking about our top birth [:

So how many of you guys struggle with those two? Worrying about what if I can't handle the pain of labor and what if I lose my shit? What if I absolutely lose it and I do no good, like I can't handle it and I'm like a floppy noodle that and just can't give birth to my baby. So these two things, again, this comes down to having an arsenal of tools. 

e pain of labor. I really am [:

He helps me all the time. But what we tell ourselves, what we believe inside of our head matters because what we tell ourselves on the daily, we manifest. So the way that you view the pain of labor it affects you in a mighty way. So the class that I teach during fearless birth experience, I try to help you reframe, reset the soundtrack in your brain. 

th, it's my passion. But you [:

You get a sound, a song in your brain, and that's that, and you're singing it and singing it, and you're going, God dang it. Get this song out of my freaking brain. You've got it in your brain. We do that with thoughts too. So you have to be able to skip a beat and get rid of that soundtrack. 

The same with a song. What they've shown in science is that you have to finish the song. You have to sing the whole song to get it out of your brain. So I want you to take that fear of pain. And I, how I do that is I take my students, and this is why I do this during my free classes, is we break down the pain of labor. 

ted for it because this pain [:

So it's a good pain. So we have to flip the script Now as far as losing control. That one again, of course we're gonna lose control if we go into our birth like a raving lunatic without any tools. So you had a picture that you've got a tool belt on. We call it our labor tool bag, and you're gonna pack it full of tools. 

On day four of fearless birth experience, I'm gonna teach you all like I'm gonna teach you a few of my tools, not all of them. I'm gonna teach you a few of my tools that I teach, so you have a practical tool to pull out. So when you go into the labor room, you're not like, oh my God, what do I do? You're gonna be like, oh shit, I know what to do. 

e control when we don't have [:

But in labor specifically, you have to have. Tools. So you have to go into your labor with a tool belt filled with tools because you're not gonna do very well if you don't, so you don't wanna wing it. So taking care of that, by throwing that fear away, by filling up your tool bag. If you fill up your tool bag, guess what? 

Your fear has no room to live. You gotta get rid of it. So we've talked about almost all of the fears. The last one I wanna talk about. Is one that I hear and I know is back there in the back of your brain. And some of you, it might be a huge one, but that is a fear of something bad happening to you or your little one. 

er, there is a higher chance [:

You wanna do some journaling. Maybe if you ha if you struggle with anxiety, you wanna make sure you're doing therapy, you have a good support system, and just remembering the things that are in your control, like being educated. Like eating a good, healthy diet, staying hydrated, going to your prenatal visits, that's really important. 

Making sure that baby's doing well and you're doing well, and just remembering what is inside of your control and what you can do to invest into your birth experience, and then letting go of the things that you can't control, and that's where the power is. So I hope. That this was beneficial to you guys. 

your time, cuz I know y'all [:

Take the power out of the fear. Put the power into the truth. That's the way you deal with them head on. All right, you guys, I'm gonna go snuggle with my little guy. I hope you have a fantastic day. As always, send us a dm, send us a question we love to connect with you guys. Have a fantastic day. 

ain next Friday. Bye for now.[: